Answer: The Cubs, obviously. Not because it's my team, but because of what it would mean to the fans. Compare:
10. San Francisco Giants
Oh God, where to start. Won three titles since 2010, at least two of which were flukes; the Warriors won a title in 2015, were maybe the best team in NBA history last year, then got better; propagating #EvenYear superstition; booming tech hub. Yeah, the Bay Area would bounce back if they faltered.
9. Boston Red Sox
Sorry, Bill Simmons, but your guys are now the Cobra Kai Nazis. Three titles in ten years, the last of which was three years ago, will do that. Also, fuck the Celtics and Pats.
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| Sure, it gets cold there. What else ya got, Boston? |
I dearly love Vin Scully and want to cheer for him to get a postseason send-off, but six World Series titles, even when the last one was my birth year (1988), puts his squad near the bottom of a pretty likeable postseason group. The league's highest payroll and sunny Southern California are also minuses. Finally, fuck the Lakers.
7. New York Mets
Full disclosure: I have a lot of personal animosity for the Mets, who destroyed me like my father before me. (That's 2015 and 1969, for the record). Nonetheless, two World Series wins, including 1986, is a major detractor, and they just got a pennant (they didn't deserve) last year. Also, doesn't New York City have plenty going for it already?
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| The greatest city on Earth will soldier on if the Mets lose. |
6. Cleveland Indians
Surprised the Indians are this low? Clearly you missed the NBA Finals, when the Cavs won the defining championship of this decade and maybe my lifetime. (It's down to them and the 2004 Red Sox, unless you count European soccer.) It's a little unfair to dock the baseball team for LeBron James' success, but, again, this is a title-hungry crowd, and the Indians have two. Also: racism.
5. Baltimore Orioles
Docked for two Super Bowl wins since 2000, including 2012, but Baltimore has earned its stripes from eons of terrible baseball teams since their three titles in the 70s and 80s. This is a likable team that crushes the ball and keeps hanging around the postseason despite all logic, which earns them points in my book. Plus, Manager Buck Showalter is a crusty delight.
Also docked for (racist) Super Bowl wins, three including 1991. I struggle with the Nationals' history: do I give them points for years of awful Expos teams or subtract because the local fans have relatively few scars? Given Washington's general sports depression, this spot feels right.
3. Texas Rangers
The only point against them is the Mavs' fluky 2011 title; their suffering resume peaks with that year, when the Cardinals stole the World Series from them, and 2012 against the Giants didn't go much better. Like Washington, they've never won the World Series. That has to change someday, right?
2. Toronto Blue Jays
The Jays' 1992 and 1993 World Series wins dull the pain a little, but it's been an abysmal 20 years for Toronto sports since then. (Seriously, the highlights are two NBA All-Stars who barely made the playoffs and then made fire trails out of town.) Also, Jose Bautista won a ton of points with me for having fun last postseason, and Edwin Encarnacion taking the bird for a trot never gets old.
1. Chicago Cubs
The case against: The Blackhawks and Bulls have had dynasties, and the 1985 Bears might be the best NFL team ever. Chicago is a great city. Aroldis Chapman is a pretty miserable human being. The team has an "official champagne provider," which seems awfully presumptuous.
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| How great is this GIF, though. |
I mean, you know this already. The Cubs winning the World Series would be one of the biggest stories of the year, even outside sports, and maybe the best sign of the apocalypse not named President Donald Trump.
But everything is set up for them in 2016. The postseason is a crapshoot, but just about every indicator, from total wins to run differential to WAR, says no team has had a better chance of escaping it alive in years, maybe decades. This team is young and fun, with two legitimate MVP candidates, three Cy Young candidates and a manager who regularly throws team pajama parties. Even President Theo Epstein, the architect of the team's resurrection, is having fun.
Epstein's long rebuilding project has exceeded all expectations. This has been the Cubs' year, from start to finish. It's time for it to pay off.
It's time.
Note: Thanks to Will Leitch of Sports on Earth, an exceptional sports (and other) columnist you should be reading, for originating this column. He also shared the video at the end.
