American Idol "Finale" Review: You'll Never Sing Alone

(Note: Yes, I'm aware how hilariously late this post is. See here for why, and my take on the competition finale is here.)

The season finale of American Idol always feels a bit like The Avengers; after spending so much time with each of these characters individually, it's almost insane to try to make a compelling product that features all of them effectively. While Joss Whedon answered that problem by generally being awesome, AI has addressed it by prioritizing its highest finishers and leaving the rest of the finalists to rot in group-performance purgatory. Sorry, Jeremy, Shannon, Erika, Heejun, DeAndre, Colton and Elise (!), say the producers; we'll see (most of) you on the tour.

(I can't help but chuckle, by the way, at Idol's insistence that the performers in the group numbers are this season's Top 12. Leave aside that Jessica and Phillip are absent. Isn't anybody else bothered by the 1984-style retcon of Jermaine Jones' existence? Conveniently, the AI YouTube archive stops with Top 11 week, immediately after Jermaine was disqualified. Interpret that any way you like.)

Meanwhile, the top 5 got to sing alongside their musical Idols, a great touch that's produced a few memorable moments (Scotty McCreery's rock-solid "Live Like You Were Dying" with Tim McGraw and James Durbin freaking the hell out at the sight of Judas Priest spring to mind.) and surprisingly little chaff (I'm looking at you, Lee DeWyze and Chicago). And, naturally, after those shenanigans, we saw Phillip Phillips receive the McCreery trophy and ride off into the sunset "Home."

Since this wasn't a competition show - and several performances were so baffling or frustrating I didn't complete them - I'll follow the What Not To Sing example and leave out any number grades. 

The final marks of the season:

Top 12 (Runaway Baby): *giggle, snort* I can't grade this. When did Idol become an advertising vehicle for So You Think You Can Dance?

Phillip Phillips & John Fogerty (Have You Ever Seen the Rain, Bad Moon Rising): I'll admit looking forward to these performances only to see Fogerty teach Phillip some things about, you know, singing, but P-squared managed to instead ruin not only his solo bits but the duet portions of his time alongside with a legend. This is your champion, America. You did this.

Joshua Ledet & Fantasia Barrino (Take Me to the Pilot): I can only imagine the tears of joy Michael Slezak wept at seeing his two most-bizarrely-overrated Idols ever squaring off in a screech-a-thon. (No kidding Fantasia's the biggest inspiration in Joshua's life.) For me, though, this was reminiscent of last year's ill-fated Casey Abrams-Jack Black duet - yes, I know it's what he enjoys, but taking baby's favorite toy might force him to grow a little. Also, could Fantasia sound more like a squealing munchkin?

Top 12 Girls & Chaka Khan (Medley): Hot damn these ladies sound good! Even with one of the best voices in Idol history spending most of the performance on the bench, the five female finalists save Jessica sang stunningly well. What a spectacular performance and reminder that America has its head up its collective ass letting a man take the Season 11 crown.

Skylar Laine & Reba McEntire (Turn On the Radio): From Skylar's opening salvo calling the judges liars to the sublime harmony between one Idol's best country singers ever and one of the best country singers ever, I couldn't have loved this performance any more. A better arrangement wouldn't hurt - what's with the techno twang? - and, once again, the background singers can all go die, but this double act is ready for the big time. MORE.

Jessica Sanchez (I Will Always Love You): Um. Why is this here? Not a bad performance, but we've already seen it. Seriously, isn't this kind of reprise usually for the competitive finale? I'm baffled. 

Top 12 Guys & Neil Diamond (Medley): Yikes. Just... yikes. When did Neil Diamond become a parody of himself? And is it possible of seven men in the final 13 I only legitimately liked two of them?

Jennifer Lopez (Goin' In and Follow the Leader): I would bet my life that this vocal was pre-recorded, which seemed to be confirmed by the echoing and flawless notes through a variety of preposterous gyrations. Yes, Jenny from the block can still bust a wicked calf. Why is this a priority on the AI finale, exactly?

Ace Young & Diana DeGarmo (The Proposal): No, this couldn't have been any more manufactured. Yes, I still believed it, and yes, I loved it.

Hollie Cavanagh & Jordin Sparks (You'll Never Walk Alone): Hollie still hasn't escaped Ballad Hell, but she always sounded great there anyway, and doubly so with one of Idol's most famous ballad-belting champions. Other than a weak song and some bland pacing - at some point I'll stop harping on background singers - this was a fine performance and a fitting end to Hollie's enjoyable run.

Top 12 Guys (Tribute to Robin Gibb): *snore*

Jessica Sanchez and Jennifer Holliday (And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going): Performances like this remind me why I started watching AI. Power! Emotion! Enunciation! This diva battle had everything one could hope for, including hilarious interplay between the two at their own over-the-top-ness. Bravo, ladies. A clash of the titans in every sense of the word.

Jessica Sanchez and Phillip Phillips (Up Where We Belong): Apparently Jessica was the duet partner Phillip needed all along. No, he didn't look good by comparison, but she pulled actual singing - singing! - out of him and created some fine harmonies around his sometimes-tepid vocals. Not life-changing, and ENOUGH WITH THE BACKUP SINGERS - but a decent duet that made both finalists look good.

Phillip Phillips (Home): Seacrest deserves an Emmy Award for claiming Phillip wowed us all season and lending this farce some sense of meaning. Still, I loved seeing Phillip tear up during his final performance as a contestant, and he symbolizes Season 11 perfectly: flawed, sometimes amazing, often frustrating, but definitely worth a watch. More on that in my season recap soon.

American Idol "Top 2" Review: The Home Stretch

(Note: Yes, I'm aware how hilariously late this post is. See here for why.)

After three (five) months of waiting, I've seen the coronation of the newest American Idol.

The verdict: a resounding "meh."

As much as I thought Phillip Phillips' victory would be/was the end of the world, I can't scrape together that much enthusiasm after his competitors slumped the last couple weeks and he submitted some redeemable performances, including "Volcano" during top four week, last week's unbelievable "We've Got Tonight" and this week's... well, we'll get to that soon enough.

The performances:

Jessica Sanchez (I Have Nothing): Large portions of this melody were out of Jessica's (impressive) range, but her command of the rest made this a sufficient if forgettable Whitney cover. Remember, of course, that covering Whitney and not looking like a fool is incredibly difficult, so props to Jessica for making the concept of covering her seem reasonable. A solid start to what could be a one-sided evening. 65

Phillip Phillips (Stand By Me): Predictable flat guitar-wielding Phillip was back for this performance, although the genre switch and a hint of charisma made it more interesting than the average P-squared vocal. Not as bad as I expected, but the fact that Phillip's above-average performance here didn't rival Jessica's bland opening salvo doesn't bode well. 45

Jessica Sanchez (The Prayer): And that's how Jessica got her groove back. After a few lukewarm song choices and tepid arrangements in recent weeks, Ms. Sanchez reclaimed her throne as by far the most spectacular performer of Season 11 and made every adult within earshot shout at their tween to stop blogging about Phillip's goatee and watch somebody else for a change. A subtle arrangement, clear, powerful vocals and a sublimely executed key change made this the best finale performance since "Up to the Mountain." It's a shame that, like Crystal, Jessica will have to take my praise and heartfelt gratitude rather than the Idol sash. 90

Phillip Phillips (Movin' Out): Oh joy, Phillip is reprising a performance I thought was bland in the first place. I dug the background players - the singers can go to Hell, but that's not unusual - but I'm infinitely more interested in them than Phillip's continued brutalizing of melody and bland delivery. Not the worst Idol finale performance ever, but that's mainly thanks to "No Boundaries" and Kris Allen crossing paths in Season 8. Point: Jessica. 10

Jessica Sanchez (Change Nothing): Speaking of which, it's time for the original winner's songs©, an annual exercise in futility that recently had been abandoned for other material, with varying results (see: "I Love You This Big" versus "Like My Mother Does" last spring.) Jessica's has all the boxes checked: "change" in the title, a light piano interlude, hackneyed high-school-poetry writing and a vaguely incomprehensible chorus that says love can solve everything. Regardless, Jessica did a decent job by taking two incredibly difficult songs in the finale and looking decent on the other side. Bravo, Jessica. Now be free, perform the material you deserve and blow our minds. I'm counting on it. 50

Phillip Phillips (Home): Wow, Phillip is playing a guitar in his original winner's song©! Besides that utterly predictable twist, this was a surprisingly listenable performance. Aside from some awful writing, this could have been a lost page from the Neil Diamond songbook, and that's a direction Phillip could really excel in. Add some actual singing - singing! - and this was the closest to a follow-up to "We've Got Tonight" as I could have expected. Nice work, son. Taylor gets to keep his brown crown. 75

After slogging through my vegetables with the last two weeks of competitive performances, the finale now awaits, a strawberry rhubarb pie with extra Elise on top. I can hardly wait. Hopefully I'll be back soon with that treat and another confection: my look back at the year that was, complete with recipe for a delicious Season 12.

Until then.

American Idol "Top 3" Review: Are We There Yet?

Is it over?

Just kidding - I haven't actually tuned out for the past two months since May 10's Top 4 results show set the stage for a battle to determine whether Jessica Sanchez (please?), Phillip Phillips (God no) or Joshua Ledet (yeah right) would be crowned the 11th American Idol. (I have, however, gotten engaged, moved to a new apartment, started a side project at work, watched E3 trailers, played Mass Effect 3 and seen The Avengers twice. More on those later.)

No, what's kept me away this long has been sheer, bitter apathy after the two following weeks' results were spoiled to me on Twitter. None of it was majorly shocking - Twitter spoils things all the time, Joshua never had a chance of winning while black, and Phillip's tween legion was looking more unstoppable each week - but it sapped the life force out of my AI recapping and, as I said before, made me question whether I would ever watch the show again.

Well, here we are.

It's impossible to recapture the experience of watching the top 3, top 2 and finale shows immediately after they aired, so I come to this with the disclaimer that my opinions of these performances hold two months of bottled rage and angst as well as the usual season worth of momentum and years of comparisons.

With that said, however, let's hop in the wayback machine and examine the vocals that led to P-squared's coronation and find out if, as I predicted, he took the Taylor Hicks turd sandwich mantel of worst winner in AI history.

Joshua Ledet (I'd Rather Be Blind): The look, vocal slides and piano arrangement of this performance reminded me why, despite his frequent over-the-top ridiculata, Ledet's top three placement over the three previous eliminees didn't make me want to throw things at the wall. The screeching and scratchy scatting at the conclusion reminded me why I've never considered him a major threat to advance any further than that. Typical; or, to quote Serenity, "Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal," Mr. Ledet. 60

Jessica Sanchez (My All): Fog, a purple prom dress and a raised platform spelled Idol-class missionary ballad position, but Jessica channeled the energy she might have used tripping over enormous heels to nail another diva classic (Mariah's a diva, right?). She was out of breath and ahead of the music too often for it to be a classic, but a touching, evocative performance that makes me glad I came back to AI despite the soul-crushing results just around the bend. 70

Phillip Phillips (Beggin'): The cynial side of me wants to hate Phillip for coming back with more guitar-ed alt-rock, but his tone actually worked for me in the beginning of this performance. Like Joshua, he degenerated into his schtick - grumbled growling with only vague hints of melody - but considering his previous performances (or what I still remember of them), this isn't bad for Phillip. Sadly, I don't grade on a curve. 40

Joshua Ledet (Imagine): Archuleta alert! That Joshua chose this subdued, gorgeous classic shows the complete lack of awareness he has of how to use his instrument, and the performance only proved that. More earnest than his usual, but still whiny, grating and got in a screech in at the end. Oy vey. 40

Jessica Sanchez (I Don't Want to Miss a Thing): Perhaps my favorite ballad of all-time, this was a canny choice for the one female left in the competition who can do it outside Steven Tyler's (and to a lesser extent David Cook's) shadow. As much as I loved the orchestral arrangement, however, the rest of this performance felt too studio-perfect to evoke the emotion and desperation that make this song a classic. Not at all unpleasant - please, Jessica, keep singing the best songs ever with those pipes - but not the classic it could have been given her prodigious talent. 65

Phillip Phillips (Disease): Stunning that Phillip would choose an alternative, guitar-driven, smoldering selection to keep the Phillip-bots sated, but I have to give him credit for strategy if nothing - absolutely nothing - else. 25 

Joshua Ledet (No More Drama): The bouncing, shouting manner of this vocal clashed so spectacularly with the song's tone and message I half-expected Mary J. Blige to come out of the audience and storm onto the stage to show the continually clueless Joshua how to deliver a song with control and emotion. Unlike his predecessors, there would be no stunningly great exit performance for this week's victim. 15

Jessica Sanchez (I'll Be There): On the cusp of the last vote she'd have a chance to survive (not that I'm bitter), Jessica uncorked a clear, inspiring performance of a song that's neither an Idol missionary ballad or the kind of up-tempo radio tripe she's tried to strengthen all year. Nothing spectacular here, but a fun, powerhouse performance to remind us that Jessica's far and away the best pure vocalist of the season and the best Idol's seen in some time. 80 

Phillip Phillips (We've Got Tonight): The only thing more incredible than Ryan Seacrest claiming Phillip is competing for the finale rather than the crown is this performance itself. Out of nowhere, Phillip used his obvious vocal talents, sans guitar, bedroom eyes or alt-rock to deliver one of my favorite performances of the season. Sublime orchestral arrangement, beautifully understated staging and actual singing - singing! - made this performance an instant classic and an absolute, honest-to-God, where-the-hell-did-that-come-from stunner from my most-hated AI contestant in years. 90

A fun, polarizing show overall, with exciting implications for the finale. I'll skip the power poll - I've been making recap-text love to Jessica and spitting on Phillip's smoldering face for months - but I'm excited to see if the final AI 11 performance show was, as Simon Cowell said of Cook-Archuleta (and fit better with DeWyze-Bowersox), a knockout. 

Back soon with that, a recap of the final AI show of the year and an extremely late postmortem that asks how the show can recapture the magic of the season's first half next spring. Hint: Everything must go.

American Idol "Top 4" Review: It's a Phillip Phillip Phillips' World

If nothing else, last week's Hollie-surgence all the way to the top of my chart showed how closely-packed the three legitimate singers left in this competition are. With only three weeks left in the season after Wednesday night, it was time for Hollie, Jessica and Joshua to give their very best and deliver a couple surprises to keep us talking about them over the Phillip-hatred cacophony that's rapidly engulfing what was a fabulous season.

The marks:

Phillip Phillips (Have You Ever Seen the Rain): Part of me wants to stop grading Phillip's performances out of protest - the way you might avoid discussing season six of 24 when recapping its remarkable run - but, like the Bauer Power Hour, AI has been so good for so long that I'll tough it out and hope for better next time, a distinct possibility given the absurdly good top three he performs around (and is destined to prevent). To Phillip's credit, he left his guitar behind and focused on putting his full effort into the vocal despite the fact that he clearly didn't understand what the sound was about. It still sounded like a stroke victim bleating over a P.A. system, but God bless him for trying. Moving on... 25   

Hollie Cavanagh (Faithfully): Hollie's drifting perilously into ballads-only territory, a somber place where I trade drinks with Anoop Desai, Elliot Yamin and Clay Aiken and lament their Idol fortunes. Nonetheless, this was a deftly executed missionary position ballad. Hollie broke away from the wind-swept, stationary delivery only in lacking a prom dress, and ultimately this performance felt well-executed but unremarkable. Not at all bad, but not life-changing either. 65

Joshua Ledet (You Raise Me Up): Garbled delivery, tears in the eyes and a choked voice, while showing a great deal of passion, do not a good performance make. (Neither does raising him up on a literal platform, continually on-the-nose producers.) The inevitable key change felt completely unearned and alienated me further from the first ordinary stinker of Joshua's Idol run. At least he surprised me. 25

Jessica Sanchez (Steal Away): I completely dug the vibe and delivery of this performance, which normally spells legendary status with Jessica. Again, though, I was surprised; Season 11's most consistently technically-sound performer completely butchered the melody of this song and missed several notes along the way. Yikes. 40

Joshua Ledet and Phillip Phillips (This Love): After one of my favorite (cheesy) songs carried Joshua and Phillip to a perfectly mediocre duet despite less chemistry than me and gym equipment, another favorite didn't repeat the trick. The completely disconnected delivery bled into a uninspired vocal that left me longing for it to be over. Forget last week, Idolsphere. This is the worst duet in Idol history. 5

Hollie Cavanagh and Jessica Sanchez (Eternal Flame): Did Idol hire Blue Man Group to help arrange its staging? I can't think of any other explanation for the bizarre cloth swings that made this staid performance even less interesting. A mid-song tempo change generated a little excitement, and their harmony was sublime - these are the two best competitors standing, remember - but overall forgettable. 55

Phillip Phillips (Volcano): A brilliantly-staged, understated performance - I'm a sucker for a cello - that reminded me how Phillip earned a spot in the finals in the first place. I'm still never going to love Phillip's complete lack of tone, but I think this is as close as it gets. 70

Hollie Cavanagh (I Can't Make You Love Me): Hollie apparently missed the memo that this song is now property: Allison Iraheta, but I'm glad to hear it nonetheless. Again, I love the orchestral arrangement, and it was a fine vocal, but lacked any excitement whatsoever. Could last week's #1 already go home? 60

Joshua Ledet (It's a Man's Man's Man's World): Absolutely love the staging; well-done with violins; yet another overbaked vocal from the second-most perplexing performer of the season. I've avoided invoking Jacob Lusk with Joshua the last couple weeks, but this performance had crying faces and stank all over it. No. Just no. 30

Jessica Sanchez (And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going): Speaking of stepping on hallowed ground, Jessica ignored the "J-Hud" label on this song - granted, she was eight years old when that happened -  and proceeded to nail it with just enough attitude to make a real connection and be tuneful at the same time, the defining dichotomy of this ever-stranger season. I'm not fully on board with this being the Idol Moment the producers seem to want it to be - too much blandness in the middle before an unbelievable finish - but a very good way to wrap up a lackluster, uneven show. 80

The top four power poll, complete this week with prediction! (I'd forgotten what it felt like to actually handicap an elimination.)

4. Phillip Phillips

Yes, he sucks. No, he's not going anywhere. Will he win? I still doubt it - the love for Jessica is too strong, and still growing - but he's more than popular enough to stay through the finale and put his distasteful mark on every show this season. If anything could squander a solid season ten and a spectacular season 11 top ten, it's a black star winner like Phillip. Forget Danny Gokey; we're entering the Taylor Hicks zone of inexplicable Idol atrocity.

3. Joshua Ledet

2. Hollie Cavanagh

Joshua. like his competition for the second slot, is up and down, but it's becoming rapidly clear that all other things equal I'm going to enjoy Hollie's more. Neither was especially good this week, but given the love for Joshua's ridiculousness I have to pick the joyously resurgent Hollie to leave tonight. Thank God for...

1. Jessica Sanchez

It's hard to believe in a season this talented I'm bracing myself for a final three in which I'll hate two, but Jessica's continued brilliance is more than enough to keep me watching no matter how bad her competitors are. It's hard to believe the hormone-throttled power voters behind Phillip-squared could block her from the crown, but nonetheless Jessica has placed herself in the Idol pantheon and has an excellent shot at ending the tween-fueled white-guy-with-guitar reign of Idol's recent past. I might even consider voting.

That's all for top four. Allow me to check tonight's results...

Not surprisingly, Hollie rides off into the sunset. After spending so many weeks rooting for Elise against Hollie in the punching-bag derby, I was stunned how quickly and how much I enjoyed Hollie's last couple weeks, and I look forward to finding out what niche she plans to carve in a radio world increasingly disinterested in wholesome pop singers.

Idol has yet to release a top three theme, although based on previous years it's likely to be contestant's choice, judge's choice and producer's choice to accompany hometown visits. Here's hoping Jessica gets great material, Joshua receives some solid guidance and they tag-team Phillip back home next Thursday.

American Idol "Top 5" Review: Talent Deep, Songbook Shallow

(The introduction to this piece was written last week while I was still waiting for American Idol's YouTube page to post performances, which it finally did Tuesday. What the hell, Fox.)

After last week's depressing but utterly predictable elimination, it's time to move out of the midcard and get down to the business of choosing the next American Idol. Each contestant remaining has a legitimate shot, so it's up to the next five weeks of performances to determine which will inherit Scotty McCreery's throne. (As is de rigeur for these recaps, yes, I'm aware it won't be our favorite AI11 Country diva.)

The final five tackled that challenge with another dual theme: British music and hits of the 1960's. While neither especially lights my fire, I'm excited to see which finalists will distinguish themselves from the pack and gain favorite status in the home stretch.

(It doesn't fit into the recap, but allow me to rage against Idol stopping its full-season precedent of uploading performances to YouTube the next day and instead putting them only on americanidol.com, where they're accompanied by intrusive advertising and a stripped-down, featureless player. What's more, they've stopped showing any lenience to YouTube uploaders as they did in seasons past. EXPLETIVES DELETED) 

The performances:

Hollie Cavanagh (River Deep Mountain High): The swaying, crowd-leading open to this performance was dangerously cheesy, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't dig the hell out of it. I had difficulty getting Pia Toscano out of my head during this performance, but Hollie knocked it out of the park and rearranged it enough to feel distinct. I still don't love the song, but this is a star-making version. 80

Phillip Phillips (The Letter): Forget Skylar: here's Scotty McCreery 2.0. Maybe it's not fair to blame Phillip for the hackneyed letter-writing background, but it perfectly reflected his performance: baffling, irritating and just too much. Not the worst performance ever - probably not of the season, and possibly not even Phillip's worst of the season - but another strike against my most-hated finalist. 20

Skylar Laine (Fortunate Son): I felt a familiar wave of county-affirmation disgust at this performance, but Skylar rocked it nonetheless. It's southern rock, but it's still a pleasure to see her tackle material that's not strictly country. Sad to see her go, but contributes to a developing trend: delivering an amazing performance on the way out, and on a song I love no less. This is destined for the season-end mix. 75

Joshua and Phillip (You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling): Every now and then Phillip shows potential like this that just irritates the living hell out of me. He's got a wonderful instrument and absolutely no idea how to use it. Speaking of which, Joshua verged yet again into just-too-muchery here, but overall I dug it. Note to the producers: please stop making people duet with Phillip. No one likes to work with the slow kid, and he's not getting any faster. I'm a sucker for this kind of cheese - hello, Top Gun - but enough already. We're in the finals. 40

Jessica Sanchez (Proud Mary): Jessica trotted out her best Tina impersonation, but as with most Tina covers it simply made me miss the original. It even made me miss Syesha Mercado's version; she clearly understood the song, which Jessica, despite her wailing, never quite convinced me of. Plus 10 for the dress and the shimmy, another few points for a proficient vocal. but can't be a Hall of Famer without more resonance. 65

Joshua Ledet (Ain't Too Proud to Beg): Another song I'm not wild about from Joshua, and with his typical overselling that's a recipe for a low rating. Never connected with the song, never tried anything unusual, never mind. 40

Hollie Cavanagh (Bleeding Love): The producers did their best to sabotage Hollie's beautifully understated performance with an over-the-top heart graphic at the top, but every succulency-pared note afterward was perfection. Lacked a defining instant to make it an Idol Moment, but an outstanding performance that continues Hollie's unlikely resurgence in style. 75

Phillip Phillips (Time of the Season): While "The Letter" was unpleasant, this was a certified trainwreck. Between the bland, almost apologetic vocal and lethargic pace, this performance seemed to last forever. Or is that me projecting how I feel about P-squared's Idol run? 5

Hollie, Jessica and Skylar (Higher and Higher): Just when I started thinking Hollie could threaten Jessica, this performance proved it. Skylar retreated to her usual schtick while the two heavyweights duked it out for the top of the power poll. Oh, the performance? Blah. Whatever. Can we stop with the group B.S. now? 30

Skylar Laine (You Don't Have to Say You Love Me): Skylar borrowed two unfortunate tactics from the Lauren Alaina playbook here: the dreadfully boring classic ballad and the billowy prom dress that flares out over the legs for no discernable reason. She deviated by completely overpowering the song and making me wish it would end. Okay. maybe that elimination makes a little more sense now. 40

Jessica Sanchez (You Are So Beautiful): Jessica brought all her vulnerability for this song, which gave what's generally a staid, bland choice an intriguing edge. She predictably sang the daylights out of it, and the recast - which she actually seemed to understand - made it an entirely new song, which she of course now owns. 80

Joshua Ledet (To Love Somebody): I applaud Joshua for personally connecting to every song, but it leads him more often into the heart of Shreakville with no way out. As soon as I saw the tears well up I knew Joshua was in trouble, and this was if anything more outrageous than his previous ventures into overexertion. Sigh. 30

The new power poll:

4. Phillip Phillips

I'm out of things to say. You wished this on yourselves, teenyboppers. For the rest of us, you've Danny Gokey-ed the season - like S8, any discussion of S11's crazy talented finalists will begin with a gigantic asterisk. I've said it before, but if this hack wins I'm probably done with the show.

3. Joshua Ledet

Joshua's obscene talent is harnessed more frequently than Phillip's, but he's still too unpredictable to forecast for the finals. Does nobody coach these kids? I'm going to blame the judges. Okay, I feel better now.

2. Jessica Sanchez

1. Hollie Cavanagh

After several weeks hanging on to frontrunner status despite a couple glaring flaws, Jessica finally gave it up to an increasingly complete performer who's putting on an unbelievable charge to the finish that could make her Idol's most unlikely feel-good winner since Kris Allen. Rock on, Hollie. You're probably going to end up more Haley than Kris, but I'll be damned if I don't root for you until the moment it's over.

Overall a decent week that handicapped a very talented group of performers with truly terrible songs. Hopefully next week (this week) is better with California songs and tunes they wish they wrote. Given the dubious artistic choices these finalists make week to week, I'm afraid already.

American Idol "Top 6" Review: Bold as Elise Love

After a dramatically uneven two-theme week in Top 7 Part Deux, I came into this week fully expecting another polarizing set of performances. This week's "Then" theme held far more promise than last week, however; how wrong could the Top 6 go with Queen on their side? If they could just pick a few decent songs themselves, Idol was set up for a very good show.

I wasn't disappointed.

The performances:

Jessica Sanchez (Bohemian Rhapsody): Despite being Queen's biggest hit, this song excerpts exceedingly poorly, and this performance smartly addressed that in the beginning by trimming a very small portion that included one common theme. Jessica predictably rocked it, although a couple pitch problems marred the pared-down, gentle arrangement. The rock interlude that followed made the performance completely polar and ruined its flow, however. We know she's a great vocalist; when is artist Jessica going to arrive and blow us all away? 60

Skylar Laine (The Show Must Go On): Skylar was treading on thin ice aping the best performance by one of my favorite Idols of all time - the criminally underrated Carly Smithson - but she pulled it off with enough strength to make me overlook it. It's a treat to see Skylar, who reads more and more like a young Reba McEntire, taking on non-country material, and if she continues to perform like this she might even knock Phillip-squared out of the Top 2 and give us not just our first female winner since Jordin Sparks but the first femme finale since the epic Fantasia Barrino-Diana DeGarmo duel that got me interested in Idol in the first place. 75

Joshua Ledet (Crazy Little Thing Called Love): A pleasant, fun, completely forgettable performance, which is the last thing I expected from the always-polarizing Joshua, especially this late in the competition. He's got the pipes to seize the title, but I'll need to see more adventure in his song choices than this. 50

Elise Testone (I Want It All): Only a bizarre tambourine marred a strong, strong bounceback from Elise after her "Then" choice last week was less "Get it On" than "Get it Out." (Yes, I know she was eliminated Thursday.) Seemed to excerpt poorly and lacked the kind of flow of an Idol Moment, but an interesting, well-delivered choice to put Elise back in my best graces. 65

Phillip Phillips (Fat-Bottomed Girls): As the intro built up, all kinds of crazy ideas danced in my head: can Phillip actually sing tunefully? Is gravel not a prerequisite for him? Might I actually like Phillip? Alas, no; as soon as that interlude ended, he degenerated back to his old habits, and as much as I enjoyed when it came back for the chorus, being inconsistent isn't much better than consistently bad for a Top 5 finalist. One of Phillip's best efforts, but P2 really needs to get gone. 55

Hollie Cavanagh (Save Me): Halfway through typing in the WhatNotToSing address to compare its ratings to mine for the previous five performances, I realized I was completely ignoring a perfectly decent performance from Hollie, which says all you need to know about this. Move along; no top 4 finalist to see here. 40

Jessica Sanchez (Dance With My Father): Jessica's finest performance since her Top 13 "I Will Always Love You," this ballad hit every note, literally and metaphorically: a pitch-perfect, subdued, heartfelt vocal; interesting, appropriate, vulnerable staging, complete with beuatiful dress and blowing wind; and a logical, coherent excerpt to boot. Every now and then I think Grantland's Jay Caspian Kang is spitting on Idol's history by saying Jessica's the best contestant ever - she's far too inconsistent to top Adam Lambert, Pia Toscano, Crystal Bowersox, David Cook or Melinda Doolittle, to name just a few - but performances like this make me think she's just as talented, and she picked a perfect time to turn it on and build a few weeks' momentum before taking the crown. 80

Skylar Laine (Tattoos on This Town): Skylar did her best to save one of the worst, blandest, most inexplicable country hits of the last five years, but the material dragged her down too far to make this anything but vaguely unpleasant. Then again, vaguely unpleasant country performances with a guitar won it all last year, so maybe she's smarter than all of us. 30

Joshua Ledet (Ready for Love): Joshua's all about love this week, and I felt the stirrings of it in this performance. I was pushed back into the "really good" zone by classic Ledet/Lusk overvocalizing, but nonetheless, this was just the kind of tender, evocative performance Joshua needs alongside "Runaway Baby" to compete. If only he could be as good at both in the same week... 70

Elise Testone (Bold as Love): In her bid to be the new Haley Reinhart, Elise uncorked a Hall of Fame performance on her way out the door. From the sparse arrangment to the bursts of power vocals to the syncopated rhythms, this pushed all my buttons and added another to my playlist of Elise performances that could dominate the Season 11 mix CD when it's all said and done. So long, lover; until we meet again. 85

Phillip Phillips (The Stone): The lyric, "find some way to show them I'm not what they see" rang in my head through this entire performance. I was on the verge of loving Phillip in the intro of Fat-Bottomed Girls, and this is exactly the vocal I wanted that to be. A unique, well-arranged, vocally proficient performance that fell well short of the Hall, but that's more than enough for Phillip to please me. 70

Hollie Cavanagh (The Climb): Hollie repeated the classic young person's mistake that accompanies choice themes: she chose a song she loves rather than one that's actually well-written. Hollie's more talented than Miley Cyrus, and it showed in her delivery, but choosing this sort of treacle is exactly what got her to the bottom three consistently, and decent is not cutting it in the Top 5, especially this season. 50

Overall, an extremely strong week that showed us how great this season has become, and it's a treat every time I actually find an hour or so to recap it. I'm sad to see Elise go, and like a fresh widow I don't expect to ever love again, but I said the same after Casey Abrams bit the dust in Top 6 last year. Here's hoping another underdog can capture my heart and carry me even into the finale. (I'm looking at you, Skylar.)

The Top 5 power poll:

5. Phillip Phillips
4. Joshua Ledet

P2 fought hard to not go back to the cellar this week, and he and his four fellows are too closely bunched to say with any kind of authority who will do best, but my lingering bitterness over his inconsistency, dislike of melodies and legions of tween voters put him there again after Joshua submitted one very good and one okay performance this week. Joshua, on the other hand, clearly has the talent to win but can't find the control to harness it 100 percent of the time. Each of the final five is insanely talented; it's their ability to harness it week to week that will win the day, and Joshua and Phillip have verged into ear-bleeding territory too often to move up.

3. Hollie Cavanagh

Hollie dodged death even more frequently than Elise this season, and she's used the time just as well in a spectacular bounceback from mediocrity. (Elise was better, but she would be #2 if she were still on this list, so there it is.) Hollie's clearly taken a level in ballad; if she can up her game on up-tempo material as well, a spot next to our #1 favorite at the not-Kodak in late May could be hers.

2. Skylar Laine

Unlike certain people (*cough*MichaelSlezak), I don't buy Skylar as a legitimate threat to win, but she's improved enough and started good enough to unexpectedly rise above her inconsistency-plagued but more spectacular comrades. Skylar, like Scotty, seems likely to advance far but not produce any Hall of Fame performances. Whether that's faint praise is up to you.

1. Jessica Sanchez

Was there any doubt? She stepped boldly into the national consciousness with "I Will Always Love You," spent the intervening weeks testing her limits and honing her up-tempo credentials and stepped back into the spotlight with a stunning "Dance With My Father." Her connection to material is still suspect, and her up-tempo game isn't perfect, but her growth and considerable natural talent are more than enough to earn her the 2012 title.

Back later in the week as the Top 5 perform the music of Britain, a theme Simon Cowell would have loved had he not orchestrated his own irrelevance after Season 9.

Until Thursday.

American Idol "Top 7 Redux" Review: Only the Good Sing Young

For Top 7 Week 2 - or Top 7 Redux, as the YouTube page calls it - Idol trotted out one of its newest themes, "Now and Then," which allows contestants to traffic in classics and new material. What's more, duets and group performances are gone, so we're lined up for nothing but solo goodness from the most talented final seven in recent memory. (Full disclosure: Obviously, this was written well after I learned Colton was eliminated the next night.)

The performances:

Hollie Cavanagh (Rolling in the Deep): After Haley's fantastic rendition last year and a slew of Adele performances in the semis, I thought Hollie had decided to mail in her Idol run this week. Little did I know she'd transform it into an event more impactful, soul-melting ballad and instantly earn her spot in the final 6. Her best performance yet, and one of my favorites of the season so far. 80

Colton Dixon (Bad Romance): A stunningly original arrangement, but a lot of it sadly fell below Colton's range, and he felt constantly handicapped by the responsibility to make this Gaga cover an alt-rock tune, and the Gaga-ooh-lala section at the end was distractingly bad. Not a good omen for Colton. 40

Elise Testone (No One): Elise ventured into Idol-classic wind-blown frilly dress territory, but the performance was anything but standard. Elise, as usual, applied her jazz/rock spin to a classic, threw in some growl and left me happy. Not overly satisfied, though. It is unfair to ask for more from my favorite performer in the competition than simply being enjoyable? 60

Phillip Phillips (U Got It Bad): The only misstep in the rebirth of Phillip-squared was an embarrassing saxophone presence that kept this performance out of the Idol Hall of Fame. Otherwise, the understated arrangement, a surprising amount of restraint and some actual notes made this easily Phillip's best. He degenerated into angrily spitting words into the mic toward the finish, but overall a fun, energizing performance for P2's inevitable finals run. 70

Jessica Sanchez (Fallin'): Jessica's biggest mistake this week, besides continuing to be too consistently great to get any recognition, was dressing like Aladdin. Seriously, though, this performance was, as all of hers are, technically proficient, but also like a lot of Jessica's catalog it felt empty and soulless. She may need to act a little more to make a well-deserved trip to the whatever-they're-calling-the-Kodak-now in late May. 70

Skylar Laine (Born This Way): At first I bristled, as I do at drek like "County Must Be Countywide" and "This Is Country Music," at Skylar's country-confirmation twist on this Gaga hit, but she won me over by just singing the daylights out of it. Skylar continues to have enunciation issues, but I share Slezak's concern that one of the most interesting finalists left might also be on the chopping block. 70

Joshua Ledet (I Believe): I wanted to dock Joshua points for choosing not only an Idol alum's first hit, not only a champion's coronation song but the song most associated with the contestant he draws the most comparisons to, but he saved me the trouble by failing to bring anything to it besides a hoard of screeching that dragged it lower even than Syesha Mercado's ill-fated cover four years ago. Blah, blah and blah. 35

Hollie Cavanagh (Son of a Preacher Man): Hollie's lower register problems showed up again in this performance, but an interesting brass arrangement and surprisingly solid showmanship saved it from utter mediocrity. A letdown from her first performance, but still one of Hollie's best efforts yet. 65

Colton Dixon (September): Another interesting take - is it a stretch to say Colton had Cook-like potential to reinvent? - but lacked any kind of momentum and felt consistently sharp. Eh. 55

Elise Testone (Let's Get It On): As much as I love Elise, and God knows the thought of her getting it on isn't unpleasant, this performance was a mess from the word go. Elise's bopping style and growl felt completely out of place, the saxophone sapped any raw sexual energy she tried to bring, and Joshua Ledet wants his screech back. Let's just move on. 35

Phillip Phillips (In the Midnight Hour): This performance crystallized what I've long suspected about Phillip and thought for a long time about David Cook: he's completely incapable of singing without gravel in his voice, even when he's smiling from ear to ear and putting on his best sexy face. Only Joshua's occasional forays into over-the-top-land keep this from being my least favorite performance of the season. 20

Jessica Sanchez (Try A Little Tenderness): The irony oozing from this song's title is too good to be true. No sentiment better expresses what ails this incredibly talented final 7 than this: STOP OVERSINGING. With the exception of Elise, this unbelievable septet is young, and they clearly haven't learned how to control their instruments. Jessica dipped into that trend herself: instead of what seemed to be a technically correct but ear-ringing rendition, she decided to bludgeon the melody with growls until both it and her voice were unrecognizable. Can we outlaw all songs over 20 years ago from this group? 30

Skylar Laine (I Heard It Through the Grapevine): I started regretting my excusing Skylar's first performance as soon as I heard the violin in this song. An interesting concept, but reminded me powerfully of Kristy Lee Cook's disastrous 'Eight Days a Week.' Skylar's far more talented, but this is the definition of making chicken salad out of chicken... well, you know. 45

Joshua Ledet (A Change Is Gonna Come): Speaking of Joshua murdering perfectly good songs, here he is doing an even worse job than the normally-spectacular Adam Lambert did with this Sam Cooke ditty. From the diction to the head-wagging and crying faces, I sincerely hope this is Joshua's lowest point of the season. Way to epically discard that winner prediction from last week, my friend. 10

Updated power poll:

6. Joshua Ledet: Welcome to the cellar, my former favorite. Joshua continues to be the most unpredictable performer in the final 13; he has the pipes of Marvin Gaye but the self-control of a four-year-old with severe ADHD. I'm this close to giving up. Please, please prove me wrong, Joshua, and leave the Lusky stank behind for your run to the top 3.

5. Phillip Phillips: I continue to believe Phillip is bound to make it to the finale, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. This week was simultaneously affirming and damning; P2 showed he can blow the doors off a certain variety of tune but lacks any ability to do another. At this point, being Scotty McCreery 2.0 and beating his style into the ground on the way to the title might be our best-case scenario for Phillip. Once again, let's move on.

4. Hollie Cavanagh: Hollie's storm back this week probably doesn't earn her a final four spot - honestly, for her to make the final four in a season this talented would be very odd - but I'm happy to root for the underdog again. Major Haley Reinhart potential if Hollie can find a couple iconic songs to make her own.

3. Skylar Laine: Skylar seems content to wrestle the Scotty 2 mantle from Phillip, but unlike him she's used it to great effect by choosing a variety of songs to transform and singing them with passion and control. In my younger, more Carrie-Underwood-loving days, Skylar would probably be my favorite, but times have changed.

2. Elise Testone: Elise is the biggest example of my tastes changing over my Idol years. Way back in season four, I didn't especially care for Bo Bice, the talented, experienced, song-arranging fiend whose crown was stolen by Carrie, but perspective has shown me his excellence and influence. I won't let Elise slip by; I'll be cheering for her even after lackluster weeks like this one all the way to the bitter end. Which, for what it's worth, is probably not far away. For a third time, moving on.

1. Jessica Sanchez: I felt after 'I Will Always Love You' that Jessica was the most talented vocalist in the competition; that belief hasn't changed, and as her competitors have shown new warts, her lack of showmanship has seemed less and less glaring. With the right coaching, Jessica is destined to be a pop star, and I believe Idol is the place for her to get it and transform into not just Idol's first female champ in years but the first to achieve mainstream pop success in even longer.

Results: Colton didn't really deserve to go, but after Hollie's bounceback and Phillip's gem, it was easy to see the rock hitting the hard place. We knew with a cast this good Thursdays would start to hurt: this is the first real blow, and I look forward to Colton's work on the tour and beyond.

Back for top 6, featuring Queen and contestant choices, on Thursday.

American Idol "Top 7" Review: Give a Little More (Votes to Jessica)

While last week's '80s night was difficult to handicap thanks to the broad range of songs available, last night's "Current Decade" theme was so constricting I struggled to come up with five songs I love and hoped to hear that aren't Adele, country or from The Book of Mormon.

The shallow pool of selections was a slightly less powerful warning sign than What Not to Sing's study on song age, which said categorically that older songs get higher approval ratings. Great music endures, while drek falls away, and this theme had the potential to churn out a lot of drek.

How sweet it is to be proven wrong again.

My reviews of the final seven:

Skylar Laine (Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You): Skylar scored instant points by choosing one of the few 2010's songs I adore and rocking it out with guitar in hand. It didn't excerpt very well, but Skylar delivered the kind of power necessary to make me believe it nonetheless. Only the occasional pitch problem marred an otherwise excellent performance. 70

Colton Dixon (Love the Way You Lie): From the stripped down arrangement with orchestral accompaniment to the dramatic presentation, I loved everything about the way this performance was staged. It's clear, though, that Colton was aping Adam Lambert's "Mad World," and the vocal, while powerful and clear, just can't match up to that standard. I fear this is Colton's ceiling: a delicate, beautiful performance that nonetheless held some distracting, wavering falsetto and bizarre diction. Definitely his best yet, but one step short of an Idol Moment. 75

Elise Testone and Phillip Phillips (Somebody That I Used to Know): I continue to adore Elise, and this week I wasn't nearly so pissed to see her paired with Phillip as Michael Johns 2.0 brought his (still far inferior) A game. Nonetheless, this song is clearly one that won't pass the test of time, and Phillip and Elise both lacked the kind of "screw you I'm happy without you" energy it seemed to demand. Tepid. 50

Jessica Sanchez (Stuttering): The rare case when a stripped-down arrangement and the song don't seem to match at all. Jessica's partially at fault as her vocal completely overpowered the piano from moment one. Really, the power she brought overwhelmed the song's message as well, and I couldn't stop feeling that Jessica doesn't understand this performance any more than I do. 55

Joshua Ledet (Runaway Baby): If Joshua does the impossible and grabs the first Idol crown for a black male since Ruben Studdard, this will be the performance I look back to as the moment everything clicked. Joshua's performances until now have followed a specific pattern: strut and belt notes, win me over, go extremely over the top and prevent me from taking him seriously. The first part was very much still in place this week as Joshua grabbed a fantastic arrangement and better staging (dancing girls! funky colors! Bond silhouettes!) and kept the enunciation to make the excitement understandable. To my immense surprise and pleasure, however, he skipped the just-too-muchery and instead used a perfect growl to put a bow on easily my favorite male performance of the season by far. 90

Skylar Laine and Colton Dixon (Don't You Wanna Stay): Skylar yet again gets credit for choosing a recent tune I fell in love with, and props for switching the pop/country dynamic to male/female versus the female/male on the original. That was basically the end of the positives, though; Colton brought his worst alt-rocker voice, and Skylar tried too hard through the entirety of a song that demands delicacy. Color me disappointed. 40

Hollie Cavanagh (Perfect): Last night was apparently "send the band home" time on Idol, and Hollie harnessed it beautifully. She took a pop song even I know and made it feel new and original. After the intro it felt more like a bland cover, but Hollie still had the power and command to do it well. Potentially a strong bounce back out of the Idol doghouse for Hollie. 65

Phillip Phillips (Give a Little More): Phillip gets a strategy bonus for pulling out a saxophone and his best bedroom eyes with his schtick running thin, but it didn't change that he's clearly a one-trick pony who's worn out his welcome. He kept it much more under control this week, but this still felt like taking a melody and putting it through a food processor as opposed to singing. GO HOME, PHILLIP. 30

Jessica Sanchez, Joshua Ledet and Hollie Cavanagh (Stronger): Joshua continued to shine like a star; Jessica continued to fail to turn the 'diva' switch to 'off'; and Hollie continued to sound pleasant but somewhat out of her depth. Put together, it's a not-unpleasant but also not very memorable cover of another Idol alum. 50

Elise Testone (You and I): Elise's tone. growl and rapid runs coalesced on another beautiful, stripped-down performance in a week full of them. Like Haley's version, I became far less interested in this performance after it degenerated to screaming "You and I!" ad nauseum, but still an entertaining vocal to add to Elise's expanding catalog. Not her best, but a fine way to close a fine show. 70

Now, the updated power poll:

7. Phillip Phillips: I was never enamored with his style, and it's been incredibly static while every other contestant has improved. The testosterone in his veins probably means we're looking at two more weeks of Phillip-squared at minimum, and I'm gritting my teeth already.

6. Hollie Cavanagh: Hollie's second-to-last rank is more a symptom of how rock-solid this top 5 is than her own fault after a strong recovery this week. I'm praying Idol voters do the right thing and keep the worst girl over the worst guy, but time and time again we've seen they won't. Hollie goes home tonight.

5. Colton Dixon: I'm torn on Colton more than any other contestant this season; his delivery and presentation can leave a lot to be desired, but in terms of vocal firepower he clearly belongs in the top 4. Leaving his alt-rocker roots could help, but ultimately what will make or break Colton is simply pulling it all together and delivering a couple rock-solid performances to accompany his entertaining but not earth-shattering ones so far.

4. Skylar Laine: I'm still not 100 percent sold on the country diva as a contender for the title, but she's done nothing to hurt her cause the last two weeks. She may need to show more range to win simply because she lacks the right reproductive equipment, but Skylar's emerging as a tempting dark horse to keep the Idol crown country another year.

3. Jessica Sanchez: Jessica has the power and control that would have made a surefire winner a few years ago, but her artistic choices continue to be dodgy, and she's starting to feel one-note the way Phillip does. I've hesitated to knock Jessica simply because she's consistently good, and I still feel she has the best voice in the competition, but she needs to harness it better to regain her early status as the favorite.

2. Joshua Ledet: After a few almost-but-not-quite weeks, Joshua put the pieces together and delivered the single most game-changing performance of the season. My lukewarm feeling for Joshua has transformed into intense curiosity; if he can continue to keep his gospel urges in check, Joshua seems poised to bring some color back to the winners circle, and he's currently my pick to do just that.

1. Elise Testone: Elise came back strong after last week's missteps and saw Jessica's lukewarm performances clear the way to the top of my chart. The more I watch Elise, the more I think she's destined to be a jazz/R&B star, and at this point I'm bracing for her too-early ouster and reminding myself to enjoy every minute. I hope Hope HOPE Elise or Joshua can break through and overpower the cute boys and Jessica to win it all, but I can't in good conscience predict a well-deserved win for her. Will a spot in my Idol Hall of Fame do?

UPDATE: As Michael Slezak predicted, the judges used their save tonight. (The Idol Guy had a great take on this as well.) More surprising - and jarring - is that Jessica Sanchez, the best pure vocalist in the competition, was on the chopping block, and the top three in my power poll were the bottom three in this week's voting. Damn it, America.

Running in Place: Or, Why an Avowed Aaron Sorkin Fanboy Can't Get Excited For "The Newsroom"

No matter how many I times I try to psych myself up by watching the trailer above, I can't get away from one word: familiar.

Perhaps a more precise description would be "familiarly Sorkin." For me, that's not usually a problem: ever since I started watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip in 2006, I've belonged to the church of Aaron Sorkin. (It's a fast-paced sect, filled with clever, lightning-speed dialogues and radical idealism.) While it's been a mixed bag - I think Sports Night is one of the best shows of all time, but The American President, as silly as it sounds, is one of the greatest disappointments of my life - I've been quick to sign up for more Sorkin at every opportunity.

Until now.

The Newsroom, more than any of Sorkin's work, feels like he's running in place. Where there's no real-life story, as in Moneyball and The Social Network, Sorkin seems content to turn back to the same semi-autobiographical archetype: Newsroom's Will McAvoy (Jeff Daniels) is a handsome, unapologetic wise-cracker who gamely fights the system for what he believes in. Everybody loves him; nobody understands him; I just plain don't care for him. (On the bright side, he's not named Sam or Danny.)

What's more, based on its "sorority girl" and "men only do stupid things for one reason" exchanges, Newsroom seems to prominently feature the casual sexism Sorkin carries to so many projects. In Social Network, it was justified; as in The West Wing, its presence in this trailer is at best off-putting and at worst completely undermining the "man of the people" image McAvoy and Josh Lyman (the closest Sorkin analog on WW) so carefully cultivate.

I can't fault Sorkin for following this type before; after all, it made Sports Night great enough for me to rewatch it every six months like clockwork and The West Wing one of the most famous and successful dramas in TV history. After three other shows on the same template, though, it's feeling worn out. I'd much rather Sorkin poured his energy into the diverse slate of projects he has in development and left television to the next generation who have new things to say (and new places to say them).

Eventually, I suspect I will watch and enjoy Newsroom regardless; Sorkin has kept his quippy, intelligent style even when the work suffers, and I stayed in my college theatre troupe for a semester after I graduated specifically so I could play Sam Weinberg in A Few Good Men for crying out loud.

The change, really, is in my expectations. Since Newsroom is on HBO, it could take a while for me to see it, and that caused me no end of irritation for months leading up to the first promotional materials.

Not anymore.

"Pillows & Blankets" Review: "Community" Covers Flaws With a Well-Done But Shallow Genre Exercise

Lost in the Dan Harmon-Chevy Chase feud, between the politics, finger-pointing and mud-slinging, is a single, critical fact:while it's debatable just how replaceable Chevy is, no one has ever done what Dan Harmon can. Harmon, in three brilliant but just as uneven years of Community, has proven himself the king of the parody.

From "Modern Warfare", the now-infamous first-season paintball/war episode that put the show on the map; to "Epidemiology," the ABBA-fueled Halloween episode brimming with zombie and horror movie references; to "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas," a pitch-perfect send-up of stop-motion holiday specials, Community's loving satire of genre entertainment is without peer. Hell, that list doesn't even include a Dungeons and Dragons episode, a multi-layered conspiracy theory show or a Pulp Fiction parody that rapidly evolves into another exercise entirely.

That being said, "Pillows and Blankets" isn't going to join the Community satire Hall of Fame. It's a more-than-competent take on Ken Burns' documentary The Civil War - a bold choice in itself given that, at 23, I'm part of this show's target demographic and only know Burns' work from my seventh-grade history class - but it's simply not as funny or well-executed as its brothers listed above.

The episode started strong; knowing that Troy and Abed's pillows vs. blankets argument would continue from last week, I hoped to see clever packaging for it, and from the faux-Morgan Freeman intro voiceover I knew Harmon had that taken care of. The show even recognized why this week's action would be filmed, a common bugaboo of documentary sitcoms, and used the format well in displaying a hilarious diagram of the first pillow fired and presenting conversations held on paper or electronics. Cutting between photos and video doesn't quite make sense, but its dramatic impact was enough for me to excuse the inconsistency.

Unfortunately the episode's plot left far more to be desired.

Let's start with the good: the core of "Pillows and Blankets," Troy and Abed's decaying friendship, was executed deftly. While it stretches credulity to think these two man-boys can achieve the kind of insight into each other on display without gaining a hint of self-awareness, their competing, unrelentingly accurate analyses reminded us why they ended up best friends. (The best friends magazine they designed together didn't hurt either.) Also, I laughed out loud at Abed's proclamation that while Troy drew first blood, Abed's Pillowtown would draw First Blood Part 2. Even the telethon tag generated some laughs, as bizarre as it was.

Where the episode began to go wrong was its subplots. Jeff and Annie were admittedly decent, including the fantastic text images gag, but Shirley and Pierce getting involved in the fight felt unnecessary, Britta's "awful war photographer" schtick ran thin fast and the 'Changlorious Bastards' bit felt more like setup for a later storyline than important material for a documentary. Admittedly, none of those plots hung around long enough to be truly irritating, and I enjoyed seeing Fat Neil finally have a radio-DJ purpose besides being the token nerd.

The undoing of "Pillows and Blankets" was its ending, when, after Jeff failed twice to resolve Troy and Abed's differences, he was finally able to paper over the disagreement and call it a day. Nothing was settled; nothing was changed; but somehow Jeff (an admitted proxy for Harmon) was able to make everyone stop fighting through the sheer power of persuasion. (If only the Chase debacle could be swept away so easily.) The conclusion of the story seemed to make the documentary about Jeff, who merely floated along in the conflict and used the entertaining friend-hat gimmick as a crutch for a shallow psychological breakthrough we've heard before, and better. (Valentine's Day comes to mind.)

Ultimately, I'll probably come back to "Pillows and Blankets" for the well-executed genre exercise, a few solid laughs and Keith David's fantastic narration. As a story, however, it fell flat, and I was left hoping Harmon can get Community back on its narrative feet to finish Season 3 strong and secure a well-deserved senior year.

American Idol "Top 8" Review: Elise, Stop Dragging My Heart Around

'80s night is a difficult theme to predict on American Idol because the range of hits produced in the decade ranges from legitimate classics (Sweet Child of Mine) to electronic drek (Never Gonna Give You Up) and all points in between (The Final Countdown). That held true Wednesday as we saw a couple inspired choices and a load of chum that was still sung rather well.

Here's my take on the AI11 top 8:

DeAndre Brackensick (I Like It): Here I was ready with a 'matter of fact, I don't like it' joke, but DeAndre, as bizarre is his delivery continues to be, knocked this one out of the park. Sublime control, interesting approach and a song that suits him made this my favorite DeAndre performance so far. I still don't see him making the top 5, but this performance at least makes me stop hating him for making the top 8 and leaves him far less likely to be my choice for the boot tonight. 80

Elise Testone (I Want to Know What Love Is): As you well know, Elise is my favorite contestant of the season (and possibly the last three) so far, and I ate up this performance, but I'm smart enough to know this bland arrangement, some major pitch problems in the lower register and control issues in the upper could spell trouble for the growler. I'm still in love, so all I can hope is we look back at this as a blip rather than the beginning of the end. 55

Skylar Laine and Colton Dixon (Islands in the Stream): I'm inching ever closer to sold on Colton despite my continued belief that his look is manufactured and disingenuous, and his connection with Skylar turned this tepid song into something interesting. Skylar didn't quite carry the ball as well after the chorus - I still foresee her ouster sooner rather than later - but far better than I expected. 85

Phillip Phillips (That's All): From the opening note underneath his range, I knew Phillip was in trouble this week. Not surprisingly he compensated by degenerating into irritating growl, which just continues his baffling descent from early frontrunner to a major case of wasted potential. This song could probably be done worse - Phillip-squared is still talented despite his frustrating choices - but it's hard to imagine how. 10

Hollie Cavanagh and DeAndre Brackensick (I'm So Excited): Once again an awful arrangement - it is '80s night, after all - but Hollie and DeAndre took the opportunity to go upbeat and seized it, pouring a ton of energy into what would have been a forgettable performance. Hollie elevated the ending much higher than I could have hoped for, and overall I came away impressed by two of the biggest question marks in the top 8. 70 

Joshua Ledet (If You Don't Know Me By Now): Joshu'a dotted tuxedo reminded me powerfully of Vegas lounge singers like Engelbert Humperdinck, and his combination of raw power and inability to control it reminded me powerfully of their over-the-top ballad style. I was on the fence before this degenerated into a series of whiny, screeching runs, and left the performance feeling that, like Phillip, Joshua will be doomed by his own awful stylistic choices. 20

Jessica Sanchez (How Will I Know): Jessica deserves credit for both walking away from "I Will Always Love You" by doing so much up-tempo but still staying in the Whitney songbook, and while this tune isn't nearly as good for her she still did an outstanding job. I've tried to avoid grading Jessica on a curve because she's so absurdly talented, but her song selections have left something to be desired. Very good, but I know she'll do better. 80

Elise Testone and Phillip Phillips (Dragging My Heart Around): While I appreciated Elise's attempts to make this awful song into something workable - she added some interesting runs and tried hard to get Phillip involved - her disinterested. mediocre partner and lacking material doomed this duet from the start. We can keep this one off the highlight reel too. 30

Hollie Cavanagh (Flashdance... What a Feeling): Maybe we should stop telling Holiie to go up-tempo. The beginning of this performance was great bordering on sublime thanks to Hollie's extraordinary pipes and ballad experience, but once the music changed and she started moving it became mediocre and scattershot. I give Hollie credit for submitting a powerful, tuneful rendition, but this is not the song for her. 65

Jessica Sanchez and Joshua Ledet (I Knew You Were Waiting [For Me]): As surprisingly good as the night's other duets were, this one blew them out of the water for control, power and sheer polish. Joshua almost ruined it by going over the top, but Jessica was nearby to rein him in and turned in a beautiful performance from the runs to the melody to the harmony. This goes on the Jessica highlight reel even as I continue to feel there's no hope for her off-the-rails partner. 90

Colton Dixon (Time After Time): I was excited to hear Colton step out of his comfort zone with this golden oldie, but instead he gave it the Marron 5 treatment and turned in a decent but utterly predictable though excellent performance. Once I gave in and considered this may be all Colton will do, he's quite good at it (the pitchy runs at the close notwithstanding). I want to see more variety from my frontrunners, but he doesn't deserve a curve any more than Jessica. Nice work, but I want him to earn his spot in the top 3. 75

Skylar Laine (Wind Beneath My Wings): I registered similar disappointment with Skylar's country interpretation to Colton's alt-rock ballad, but recent history shows she's smart to embrace the country audience, especially when she's in trouble. Between the Idol standard statonary ballad position, prom dress and dramatic lighting Skylar seemed primed for a genuine moment, but this never quite got there for me. Very good - probably enough to get her out of the bottom three - but didn't blow me away. 75

Overall it was a very fun show, which, despite what the numbers at What Not To Sing say, was an upgrade from the last couple weeks. I'm on board with each contestant to some degree at this point except one, and I think I know them well enough for my first power poll/prediction of the season.

8. Phillip Phillips: P-squared has played a bland one-trick pony in the finals despite demonstrating much more talent beforehand. Sorry, but we can't wait forever; thanks for playing.

7. DeAndre Brackensick: I'm still not the target demo for Jason Castro 2.0, but he's acquitted himself well enough recently to crawl out of the basement. His second-to-last ranking is more a symptom of the extreme disadvantage he was in after the first few weeks and the strength of the top 6.

6. Hollie Cavanagh: Hollie's heading in the wrong direction, but she's still got more raw vocal talent than the two men ranked below her. While she has the potential to continue to make bad choices and drag the competition down, I think If Hollie doesn't go home tonight - a distinct possibility - she could still turn it around and make the final 3. 

5. Joshua Ledet: Joshua is the most baffling contestant of the group. He's alternately shown pure vocal genius and control idiocy with such gusto it's hard to tell which is stronger. I don't think he's in any real danger, but I can't say I'm too concerned either way.

4. Skylar Laine: This season's prerequisite country artist has never done much for me, but she's shown the right combination of song interpretation and rearrangement to make a top-5 push. She could also be in danger tonight, but I think the country vote will carry her through, and I'm excited to see what she does next.

3. Colton Dixon: Colton is my favorite male in the competition by a country (alt-rock, actually) mile despite my distaste for his default Coldplay arrangement. Assuming he becomes more James Durbin and adapts to themes rather than continuing his Adam Lambert-style skirting of them (Ring of Fire, anybody?), I could be happy watching Colton ride his cute-boy shield to a confetti shower. If only he also played the guitar...

2. Elise Testone: Elise is my personal favorite in the competition thanks to her mind-blowing performances recently, but on the outside of that sandwich is a polarizing top 13/pre-finals run and this week's marked step back. I think we could see Hall of Fame performances from Elise, but assuming she survives the week (please please please please please) she's more likely to follow the Haley Reinhart path than walk away the winner.   

1. Jessica Sanchez: Jessica popped out at me with her top 13 masterpiece and hasn't slowed down much. Her biggest foe is going to be the Lambert-Pia Toscano zone where she's expected to be consistently mind-blowing and can't garner the support it takes to push through the Y chromosomes and genre voters. Nonetheless, she's still my pick to take the drown and become Idol's first female champ since Jordin Sparks.

UPDATE: In a minor shocker, DeAndre was sent home, while Hollie and (sigh) Elise finished the bottom three. Amazingly, there are more women than men in the top 7. Here's hoping we get the Elise, Hollie and Jessica top three I hoped for after top 13 week.