The kind of dishonesty the player is supposed to achieve in Dishonored. (from superbwallpapers.com)
I've never been as exhilarated to step off a boat as I was in Dishonored. Time after time, the simple act of leaving Samuel the boatman and stepping onto dry land filled me with anticipation and dread.
Death, dismemberment and, above all, deceit lurk around every corner of Dunwall, the fictional city overrun with plague that hosts Dishonored's cast of oppressors, freedom fighters and bystanders.
So why was I the greatest deceiver among them?
I don't mean Corvo, the badass bodyguard who becomes a more-badass assassin in an attempt to avenge his beloved empress after being framed for her murder.
Despite Corvo's triumphs - I won't forget the poetic justice of branding a man with his own torture device, the thrill of betraying a man who led me to a theft in exchange for a cut, the unease at delivering a marked woman to an unknown man who would save her life but force her to love him - they didn't measure up to my true deceit.
I turned Dishonored - a singular achievement widely recognized as one of the best games of 2012 - into the stealth equivalent of Contra.
Wishing to complete the game as quickly as possible, I bypassed all but the easiest runes and bone charms, outfitting myself with a meager three abilities - Blink, Dark Vision and Shadow Kill - that left me ill-equipped to conquer latter missions on normal.
When I got into a fight - which happened frequently, as I generally suck at sneaking and didn't have the best tools at my disposal - it generally ended with my quick death, a reloaded save and another attempt with the benefit of added knowledge. I became so paranoid that I started to save after simply making it down an empty hallway without any zombie dogs bursting through the windows.
I broke the illusion of reality in favor of winning. Rather than plotting an intricate murder and exit of the enemy's vast compound, I frequently teleported myself wildly across rooms, executed my targets and ran like hell for the last load point.
If only my enemies had followed me across the digital threshold, my underpowered Corvo would have been no match for them.
Instead, I simply fled into the night, back to the boat and on to more dishonest victories.
We're now about halfway through the season, so let's review our NBA predictions, shall we?
As ever, we're using my adaptation of TimeTravelReview's Summer Movie Pool scoring: 13 points for correctly guessing the best record in either conference; 10 points for hitting any other rank correctly; 7 points for placing a team one rank away from its current standing; 5 points for hitting two away; and 3 points for correctly placing a team in or out of the playoffs.
The overall standings are thus:
3. Derek, 136 points
2. John Hollinger, 138 points (excuse me while I pour out another drink for my favorite NBA columnist leaving the web)
1. Jason, 172 points
Not only is your current total blowing away both me and a guy who is now paid by an NBA team to do this for a living, it's by far the best score we've ever had. The closest is your 147 in our first year, 2010-11.
Your conference scores are especially stunning: 94 in the East bests our previous conference record of 80 (you, '10-11), and your 78 in the West beats every other score on the board save Hollinger's East at 81.
If we ended now, your margin of victory over me, 36, would approach the largest ever. As you well know, I've lost each previous year: by 38 in '10-11 and by 12 last year. I've never beaten even on of your conference scores.
My biggest nadir appears to be nailing teams down. While you correctly hit Miami, Chicago, Atlanta, Oklahoma City and Denver, I only got Miami on the nose. Difficult, that.
A few teams have been relatively predictable:
Miami - The champs are #1 in the East. Yawn.
San Antonio - Behind a Duncan resurgence, the Spurs chug along unabated.
Indiana - Paul George's leap and Danny Granger's injury means treading water for the Pacers, though not exactly as anticipated.
Memphis - Behind Marc Gasol, the Grizzlies have become a legit title threat.
Charlotte - After a fun start that worried me, the Bobcats are back to sucking air.
Phoenix - Those post-Nash draft picks can't come soon enough.
Sacramento - We all knew this team would be horrid, although I for one didn't imagine the Maloofs would find a buyer so soon. Have they seen this roster? Good luck, Seattle.
Several proved brilliance on one side or the other:
Chicago - Our beloved Bulls have made you look like Nostradamus. Our biggest disagreement was how well this team could play without Derrick Rose. You said top-three seed; I said barely scraping in the tournament, and that was including two months of winning with #1 back. Two All-Stars and 25 wins later, I tip my cap. Now can this team please stop beating the Heat and Celtics but losing to the Bobcats and Wizards already?
I love this team because they can turn a schedule loss minus Deng & Rose in which they trailed by double digits into a game. #BullsGrizzlies
— Derek Beigh (@zorak9379) January 20, 2013
Nothing represents this #Bulls season like Kirk Hinrich shooting an open three and missing everything.
— Derek Beigh (@zorak9379) December 26, 2012
Oklahoma City - Hollinger and I had the Thunder regressing, but they've stayed healthy and effective post-Harden and proved you right. This pick alone gave you a ten-point boost over me.
Toronto - For some strange reason you put the Raptors in the playoffs. How do you feel about that now?
Denver - You nailed the Nuggets staying a marginal West team, while Hollinger and I loved the Iguodala move and picked them to finish with home court. This could still change if, say, they traded for Pau Gasol (TRADE FOR PAU GASOL, SOMEBODY), but to date you're the genius.
Brooklyn - Hollinger and I nailed the Nets ascending to an easy playoff spot, while you had them fighting for a berth.
Atlanta - I felt good early about buying the revamped Hawks hard, but they've slumped and made you and Hollinger look like geniuses.
Houston - I loved the Harden trade, and the Rockets have made me look brilliant for feeling that way.
Dallas - Hollinger and I predicted a slump for the Mavs, although Dirk's injury makes me think you're closer to correct by putting them in the playoffs.
Cleveland - Hollinger and I both anticipated a massive breakout for Kyrie Irving carrying the Cavs within spitting distance of the postseason. Not so much. You, meanwhile, forecast them even worse than they actually are, but not by much.
Portland - Hollinger and I expected major regression from the Blazers, but you correctly imagined they would be near the postseason. Inside info on Damian Lillard, perhaps?
Philadelphia - We both predicted slumps for the 76ers, but yours was bigger, and Hollinger didn't foresee one at all.
Minnesota - Kevin Love's injury derailed what Hollinger and I thought would be a breakout year for the Wolves. I still think they could prove you wrong, and I'm not sure why you picked them so low, but the numbers are with you so far.
Milwaukee - Hollinger and I both had Milwaukee fighting for a playoff spot, while you had them 11th in the East. This despite Scott Skiles getting canned mid-season yet again.
There's comedy, there's high comedy, and there's Scott Skiles being fired mid-winter by a Central team and succeeded by Jim Boylan again.
— Derek Beigh (@zorak9379) January 8, 2013
Detroit - Hollinger and I both saw another bleak season for the Pistons, but you had a little more faith, putting them correctly just outside the playoffs.
Orlando - You had the Magic slightly higher than Hollinger and I did, and they've exceeded even your prediction.
Teams that made idiots of us all:
Lakers - Dear Lord, what happened to Kobe and co.? We all picked the Lake Show high, and even Hollinger's conservative 4 seed was mind-blowingly wrong. I picked this team to win the title, and they're out of the playoffs. Oof.
What were the odds a team playing Steve Nash and Pau Gasol coached by Mike D'Antoni would be not just bad but boring? #FreeTheForeigners
— Derek Beigh (@zorak9379) January 25, 2013
New York - The second biggest story of the season, the resurgence of roundball in the Big Apple, is also one none of us anticipated. You were the only one to correctly guess that the Knicks would be better than the Nets, and you had the highest seed for New York, but it was still a 5 rather than a 2. Carmelo Anthony bamboozled us all.
Clippers - None of us forecast Vinny Del Negro's boys to be nearly this good behind Chris Paul, Blake Griffin and a smothering bench. This inspired one of my favorite under-the-radar storylines of the season:
There's comedy, there's high comedy and there's Gregg Popovich battling Vinny Del Negro for the right to coach the West All-Stars.
— Derek Beigh (@zorak9379) January 25, 2013
Boston - We all bit on the Celtics as a top-3 East team, but they've disappointed. Rajon Rondo has not become what I expected.
Golden State - The Warriors are good?! I still refuse to believe this.
Washington - Call this the John Wall effect, or perhaps the John Wall's injuries effect. (Yeah, it could use some work.) They did just beat the Bulls...
New Orleans - The Hornets have been sneaky better, although certainly not good. Bodes well for them if/when Austin Rivers finds his head.
I'm not giving in on the season yet, but I'll set a secondary goal of hitting within 25 points of you.
More importantly, how good can this Bulls team really be? If nothing else, this season has brought this:
Belinelli is becoming my fave of our many 2 guards. With Rose, Deng, Gibson and Noah, we finally have a 5-man unit I like. #BullsGrizzlies
— Derek Beigh (@zorak9379) January 20, 2013
And this:
Every time I watch the '12-13 Bulls, I can't get over how much Marco Belinelli looks like Benjamin Rabin. #BullsGrizzlies
— Derek Beigh (@zorak9379) January 20, 2013
Here's hoping Rose and the guys can gel in time for the playoffs and make some noise. I for one would love the hell out of a Knicks upset or a showdown with the Pacers.
