2012-13 NBA Predictions

Each fall for the last three, my college friend Jason and I share our NBA ranking predictions, talk a lot of smack and forget them until May.

Each spring for the last two, I've gotten my butt handed to me, and the following fall I've still claimed this would be the year I get off the schneid.

Some things never change.

The following is my (slightly edited) response to Jason's latest predictions. Here's hoping Spring 2013 is kind to me.

Enjoy.

You're a crazy man and you have no business in sports.

Here's the link to the chart, including our predictions, (ESPN writer and stat geek heartthrob) John Hollinger's forecast and last year's results. I should also give credit to Bill Simmons, who I listened to in preparation for this, but he doesn't have any (written) predictions.

My (superior) outlook:

Miami: Dominant, assured and unstoppable; LeBron's quest to take down MJ begins

Boston: Restocked and refreshed, the bastards

Indiana: Predictably good, but not frightening anybody

Atlanta: Improved despite Johnson loss, and got a brighter future out of it

Brooklyn: Won't guard anyone, but who'll guard them?

Chicago: A half-season without Rose or the bench mob hurts

Philadelphia: 60 games of Andrew Bynum is enough for East playoffs

New York: Love the pieces, hate how they fit; the worst-run franchise in sports

Milwaukee: Tough, scrappy frontcourt, but identically-awful guards 

Cleveland: Irving makes the leap, but have you seen this roster?

Washington: Ditto with Wall

Toronto: Like Lowry, Bargnani, but nothing else here to get excited about yet

Detroit: Monroe is the one redeeming part of a trainwreck on both ends 

Charlotte: Hey, they're not the worst team in the league anymore!

Orlando: This - Howard's old mates, plus the embarrassing trade bait pu pu platter - is

San Antonio: Old reliable storms through regular season again with Leonard era on horizon

Lakers: Kobe and co. struggle to mesh before April, but Finals date with Miami awaits

Denver: Pieces fit beautifully and recall the Seven Seconds or Less Suns, but who's the Nuggets' star?

Oklahoma City: Second unit collapses post-Harden and robs a few wins, but a tough conference finals out

Memphis: Healthy Z-Bo makes or breaks Grizzlies, so this is wrong one way or the other

Utah: The defensive-minded, foul-crazy version of the Denver Nuggets

Clippers: Paul and Blake are still great, but front office and bench dysfunction boils over

Minnesota: Love and Rubio are the next big thing, but not until January; watch out in round one, Spurs

Houston: Harden, Lin and Asik are a decent trio, but youth robs Rockets of playoffs yet again 

Dallas: Dirk - balky knee and all - carries a load of drek to a .500 finish, but no postseason

Golden State: Like Grizzlies, all is on health of Curry and Bogut; I'm not betting on it

New Orleans: Young and frisky, but don't trust Gordon to be the guy or Davis to be an instant sensation

Portland: Aldridge rots in obscurity with intriguing but disappointing flotsam

Sacramento: Forget Sac-town or Vegas; Kings shape Stern's last act by bringing basketball back to Seattle

Phoenix: Life after Nash is going to be brutal until those lottery picks are cashed in

As for our Bulls, I'm having a hard time adjusting to following a decent-but-not-great team - April 28 still lingers in my mind - amid the consistently awful Cubs, excellent Bears and depressing Illini. Hollinger made me feel better with this in his Chicago forecast:

In the short term, the good news for Chicago is there is still enough talent on hand to field a very competitive team. The Bulls went 18-9 without Rose last season, and their two most identifiable characteristics -- manic defense and prolific rebounding -- had little to do with their floor general. Nonetheless, the playoffs showed how much harder it is for Chicago to sustain a cohesive offensive attack without him. It will be even harder after the Bulls made several secondary cuts.

The net result is a team that several fan bases would be glad to have, especially if Tom Thibodeau can keep it playing hair-on-fire defense, but one that will likely disappoint those who witnessed the past two campaigns.

How do you feel about our boys? I think your prediction is asinine, but I hope they prove you right.

Episode VII: The Force is Strong With This One

Disney buying Lucasfilm was destined to make the Internet go bonkers. Adding Star Wars: Episode VII to today's announcement made it doubly so.

But why all the hatred? For me, today is a dream come true.

About 15 years ago, after reading the Star Wars Encyclopedia - I'll pause so you can absorb the ridiculousness of that sentence - nine-year-old me dreamed of the Star Wars movies George Lucas never got to make. 

Young Darth Vader going bad and fighting his master, Obi-Wan? Wizened Luke Skywalker, having conquered the Force, opening an academy to repopulate the universe with young Jedi? Where do I sign up?

As we all now know, the former was made reality shortly later, and we asked how we could have been so foolish. Rather than expanding the glory of the Star Wars saga, the prequel trilogy became a calling card of everything ill-conceived, greedy, soulless and flat-out wrong with modern movies.

Still, does that mean Hollywood shouldn't try again?

As countless media franchises - not least the the Star Wars expanded universe - have shown us, belonging to a great franchise isn't enough to make a film, comic, novel or game worthwhile (see... well, pretty much any franchise). But, on the other hand, it's also not enough to make a project not worthwhile (see also Knights of the Old Republic and Episode I: Racer). 

What's more, we already know three very promising things about Episode VII.

The first: George Lucas is not involved. The benefits of Lucas stepping away should be obvious, but let's spell them anyway: the man has made four mediocre-to-awful franchise sequels in the past 15 years. The best Lucas films had other directors. Lucas has nothing left to prove and, thus, no reason to work hard.

Disney's backing is a more subtle issue, but let me put it this way: don't you want the studio behind The Avengers backing Star Wars? (I'm ignoring the crossover capabilities for now, but of course they're myriad.) Disney not only poured cash into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it also hired a visionary director in Joss Whedon to write, direct and oversee the project. Here's hoping Episode VII gets similar treatment.

Promising a further trilogy, of course, makes that decision even more critical to Disney. This isn't a matter of throwing together a cash-grab; Star Wars: Episodes VII through IX will be one of Disney's signature projects for the next decade, beginning with stiff competition from its own Avengers sequel in 2015. That stakes for Episode VII couldn't be higher, high stakes mean high dollars, and high dollars usually mean a better director, actors and effects.

So while many Internet columns and forums are whining about corporate greed and the ruination of sacred things today, fear not, Disney: if nothing else, you've made one nine-year-old's dream come true.

Now please, please don't screw it up.

Geek.Kon 2012: The Dr. Jack Breakdown

I had been at at the Marriott in Middleton, Wisc., for about five minutes before it heard it for the first time, floating on the wind like a specter.

ACen...

The farther into the weekend I got, however, the more unavoidable it became.

ACen...

And finally, I found myself saying it. As in, "Boy, this was fun, but it was no ACen."

It's not really fair. Geek.Kon 2012 never pretended to be another Anime Central. Still, it was that gathering in April 2012 that got me to the University of Wisconsin's annual anime gathering, and it was through the prism of my first and to that point only convention that it would be judged.

With that said, in honor of my great love Bill Simmons (and of course its namesake), here's the Dr. Jack breakdown: ACen 2012 vs. Geek.Kon 2012. Fight!

ENVIRONMENT

On first impressions, Geek.Kon gets a firm thumbs up versus ACen. Not only did I not need to pay for parking, there was less confusion finding it, and less walking overall. The Marriott, by virtue of being one hotel rather than ACen's four, was better kept and easier to navigate. It also looked less like an airplane hangar than the cavernous interior of the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center. From the shorter badge line to a greater selection of nearby restaurants, Geek.Kon's intangibles were noticeably superior to its grandpapi's.

Also Gandalf, who served as gatekeeper at Geek.Kon's many multi-door rooms. GANDALF.

Advantage: Geek.Kon

EXHIBIT HALL/ARTIST'S ALLEY

One of my first stops inside the con, though, showed me definitively that I wasn't in Rosemont anymore. While I did still spend a little, Geek.Kon's selection of merchants and artisans was piddling compared to the forest of booths at ACen, and those associated with the fringes of anime - TV, movies, video games, a.k.a. all the parts I'm interested in - didn't make the trip. Disappointing.

Advantage: ACen

COSPLAY

One of my favorite moments of the con: these girls spent several minutes trying to keep all their cosplay gear on the hotel cart en route to their room. Less favorite: the girl on the far left, who mistook my Game Boy-inspired iPhone case for BMO from Adventure Time.

Two areas at ACen took my breath away with their quality: Exhibit Hall and cosplay. One let me down at Geek.Kon; the other did not.

The weekend got off to a fine start with my friends Alex and Melissa cosplaying Professor Layton and his assistant Emmy, and my buddy Jack joined in by finally executing on his long-promised Gendo Ikari costume, complete with delightfully rub-able beard.

By far the most common cosplays were Avengers - we saw five Loki's, by far the greatest of any single costume, including one that was part of a full set of crossplaying Avengers - and Doctor Who's, including a stunningly similar Tennant and a functioning life-size Dalek.

Other favorites at the con included Slenderman, Missing No., a pair of Klingons, two Ghostbusters with electric proton packs, a very leggy Mrs. Pac-Man and Castlevania-style Alucard.

This well-dressed fellow caused no end of confusion for my anime-Alucard-loving chums.

(Additional Avengers wardrobe note: Rodgers/Stark 2012 shirts were EVERYWHERE at this con. How did I miss this?)

As much as I enjoyed Geek.Kon's cosplay, however, it just couldn't measure up to the scope and variety of ACen's. Also, ACen had Marty McFly. Game over.

Advantage: ACen

GAME ROOMS

Missing No. takes a well-deserved game break.

Here, in the nerdiest of categories, Geek.Kon not only stood up to ACen but sent it home crying to its mama. 

ACen's video game room was no slouch; you may remember Jack and I enjoying a fabulous, flailing round of Dance Central and my awe at the Smash Bros. players Tim tangled with for hours on end. Geek.Kon, however, had me at "Rock Band 3 stage" and didn't let go for most of the weekend.

Assorted highlights: Trying to explain Typing of the Dead to Megan; losing personally but seeing Jack wipe the floor with his opponents on a sit-down Mario Kart arcade; and, as ever, watching Tim own fools at Melee. Over the course of the weekend, finding Jack, Megan, Melissa and Alex was a challenge, but if Tim wasn't with me it was better than even money he had a GameCube controller in his hands, waiting to drive Captain Falcon's electrified knee into some poor third-rate Nintendo mascot.

Jack, in full Gendo garb, kicks some futuristic ass in F-Zero GX.

As for Geek.Kon's tabletop room, we didn't spend much time there, but it had the selection of ACen's with a crowd to match this time. I was pumped to get a farewell game of Ticket to Ride in with Jack, Tim and Megan Sunday when I saw the room's organizer packing it away into a plastic tub. Next year, perhaps. (We did get to break in Jack's shiny new Settlers of Catan set at Tim's afterward, with the Packers losing to San Francisco as wonderful background music. The victor? Do you have to ask, really?)

An unexpected highlight was Kon.Quest, which offered a variety of games and a scavenger hunt in a side room. I didn't complete very much of it, but it was a grand concept, and gave me one of my favorite memories of the con.

"I love how they ask you to find Adam in the (sparkly orange) vest without mentioning that he's the chairman."

One of the biggest disappointments of the con for me was the LAN room. Perhaps it picked up Sunday, but when I dropped by Saturday two guys were browsing the web and ready to tell me Steam's servers weren't cooperating. So much for my four-player in-person Left 4 Dead co-op.

(Side note: This room, along with Kon.Quest and half of tabletop, was closed Saturday for a wedding. No one loves weddings more than I do - seriously, it's unhealthy - but what the hell, Marriott? A 2000-attendee convention isn't enough business for you the weekend after Labor Day?)

Advantage: Geek.Kon

PANELS

Our lovely model poses with the somewhat-less-lovely Geek.Kon panel schedule.

ACen had by far the greater selection of panels - pages upon pages, across four hotels and dozens of rooms - but my panel-going experience at Geek.Kon had the potential to outdo it in the most important of con categories.

The biggest advantage of attending a con with 2,000 attendees instead of 27,000, I discovered, was never needing to wait in line. While Forsuk and I waited a half hour for a murder mystery panel we didn't get into, Geek.Kon's rooms were always welcoming, and I took the chance to improve on the meager six panels I visited during ACen.

Of the variety of panels I attended at Geek.Kon, however, nothing measured up to ACen's Assassin's Creed wedding or Video Game Orchestra concert, and a lot of crap was in the mix as well. When I found a good panel at Geek.Kon, I was thrilled: two discussions even made me go into full reporter mode, with pen, notepad, audio recorder and iPhone camera in hand. Here's a full rundown of my favorite, and a lede for the other:

MIDDLETON - DaishoCon personality Nick Izumi traced the history both of and influenced by an American icon through his presentation, "Stars and Pulp Forever: How Captain America Became the American Dream" Friday evening at Geek.Kon.

"There's more historical value to this than, 'America! America!'" he said. "Captain America was meant to assert America's heroic dominance abroad and would both influence and reflect how Americans understood foreign policy in the 1940's." 

Izumi traced the character from his creation at predominantly Jewish New York comic book publisher Timely Comics as a way for war hogs Joe Simon and Jack Kirby to get Americans interested in World War II a year before Pearl Harbor. The first book's cover - a now-infamous image of Captain America punching Adolf Hitler, which Izumi said never happens in the issue - showed the book's intent to encourage "immediate and decisive action" for democracy, Izumi said.

"You don't have to open the book," he said. "There's so much symbolism on the cover it's overwhelming."

That message proved to be very successful, Izumi said, so much so that many now assume Captain America was created as government-sponsored propaganda. While that's not so - it was dramatized as such in Captain America: The First Avenger - Timely's creation rang so true that when Nazi sympathizers Fifth Column attempted to stage a protest at Timely, Mayor Fiorello Henry LaGuardia shut it down personally.

After the United States entered World War II, Izumi said, Captain America became a rallying point for soldiers and citizens. Captain America's best friend Bucky posed as president of a real-life fan club called the "Sentinels of Liberty" that got children interested in the war effort, and mid-1940's issues included ads for war bonds.

Izumi said the end of World War II was the end of Captain America's first run, and put a damper on the latter part of that run. Because Timely wrote stories several months before publication, the impending end of the war in 1944 led to the end of Nazis in the book. In 1945 Captain America was removed, and in 1946 the book ceased publication.

Izumi said Captain America represented several firsts: it pioneered the two-page spread image, now common in comics; erased a rebooted Captain America, named "Captain America: Commie Smasher," later claiming the character to be an impostor and using him as villain in later issues; and even dramatized an event similar to Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor a full year before Dec. 7, 1941. Captain America was also the first character created of what would become The Avengers, which Captain America joined in 1966 for issue #4. 

Izumi developed the presentation from a paper he wrote on Captain America as part of a senior history seminar at a University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point. As a long-time fan of Marvel Comics and Captain America in particular, he said, reading the entire 1940's run of the character was "the most fun I've had researching any paper I've ever done."

"The reason Cap does the things that he does isn't just because he thinks America's great and he's going to do whatever they tell him is right. At the end of the day, what Cap is always about... is bullying. It could be as simple as beating someone up or international bullying," Izumi said. "There's something about Cap that still resonates today. Someone standing up for people who need defending is still being used today."

MIDDLETON - Technology may be the future of publishing, but five industry veterans showed that analog entertainment can be very fine at a "Digital vs. Traditional Publishing" panel Saturday afternoon.

(In all honesty, I'm not sure how I would approach a full article on the publishing panel; I asked what I felt, in eternal humility, were the best questions of the panel: should digital media carry resale ability, and what's possible in print that's not digitally? [Is my bias showing?])

The publishing panel gave me what I really wanted and seldom found at Geek.Kon: actual knowledge on a subject I care about, from the mouths of experts no less. 

Two other panels I attended were enjoyable if forgettable. Eric Stuart, a voice actor for Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh and others (bacon number: 3), did nothing but field questions from the audience for an hour. Cool for his fans, but not an experience I'll be looking to repeat. The same for an exhaustive/ing look at every iteration of Yu-Gi-Oh over ninety minutes on Saturday morning.

As for the rest... well, both cons had panel mishaps, but Geek.Kon's were infinitely more common and annoying. While Tim and I wasted a half hour waiting for VGO on Friday at ACen only for their concert to be delayed, the men behind Funtime Pro Wrestling Arcade and Panel! at Geek.Kon never showed up. And while Samurai Dan didn't blow me away the first time in Rosemont, he was certainly professional, which the girls behind Geek.Kon's History of Assassin's Creed couldn't claim after their promised 90-minute research lesson turned into a twenty-minute gameplay rehash and assorted fan art. The Fanfiction Contest results were every bit as dull as you might expect, and Sunday's Geek Show degenerated from tolerable to tragic in a hurry. Tell me, have you by chance heard "Popular" from Wicked sung karaoke? You have? You're kidding!

Advantage and victory, 3-2: ACen

For a certain class of person - one diametrically opposed to waiting in lines, with a thirst for participation and a Wisconsin address - Geek.Kon might be a better fit than ACen. For me, however, it was an enjoyable but not mind-blowing weekend that made me yearn for ACen more than revel in its own charms.

Geek.Kon did serve an important role in the road back to ACen, though: on Sunday, Jack, Megan, Tim and I bought in for Anime Milwaukee next February, where ACen staff will be selling discounted badges to their 2013 extravaganza in May. I can already hear its call in the air...

Weight Loss: Halftime

Six months ago, I decided I was done weighing 250 pounds.

This wasn't a decision I took lightly. Through a stressful, ambitious lifestyle, I'd grown to rely on food to give me energy when I wasn't sleeping enough; pleasure when I wasn't happy enough; and an excuse not to talk when I wasn't not awkward enough. Every time I thought I might do something about my weight, the same excuses came back: I couldn't afford less sleep; didn't want less happiness; wasn't about to be less awkward.

Finally, in Mt. Vernon, that changed.

After I graduated, I spent the next six months wanting to find work and the following half-year wishing my job would give me more work. Nonetheless, I thought, I have time to knock out some of my 43 Things: I finished the 64-book Animorphs series after an eight-year layoff between books 26 and 27, watched every episode of Frasier and started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I'm now halfway through season five). But the item at the top of my list - then a generic "lose weight" - was too frightening to contemplate.

Then, last fall, two things happened very close together.

First, my then-co-worker, the then-newly-wed Rorye, persuaded me to sign up for the Jefferson County YMCA's Losing Team program, which would team us up with our boss and another person to live the healthiest lifestyle over the next three months. I was hesitant but told her I'd consider it.

Then, the next weekend, I traveled to Champaign-Urbana to see my girlfriend Megan and got an unexpected call at 2:15 a.m. Saturday. My old college drinking/Star Trek TNG buddy Steve wanted to catch up. He was doing great, I found out: in addition to finding a job in his field in Bloomington (a much bigger, nicer town than Mt. Vernon), he'd lost something like 50 pounds by eating right. While Steve was always lighter than I was, here was someone who had worse habits than I did - Hot Pockets seemed to be a religion when he lived across the street from me - but turned it around through research, time and an iron will.

Besides, if he could do it, why couldn't I?

I changed my goal to a concrete "lose 100 pounds," calculated my BMR and BMI, attended some YMCA sessions and got started.

Alas, that effort was short-lived, as I moved to Marion in November and needed badly to get my bearings and not worry about my food for a while. Still, I'd lost ten pounds in two months using calorie-counter MyFitnessPal, and the seed of an idea was planted.

January 9, after my life wasn't so complicated by job adjustments, other people's year-end vacations and the holidays, I decided to pick up where I'd left off. One of my coworkers was fired that day - naturally - but enough was enough; I was done. 250 would be a thing of the past.

Slowly, through a lot of salads, air-popped popcorn and hours upon hours of just plain being hungry, I saw results. By February I was 240 pounds; in March, 230; in April, 220; and so on. Even the occasional slip-up - loads of stuffed pizza at ACEN, a beer-filled Memorial Day weekend in Madison, a very unhealthy birthday dinner complete with multiple burgers and pizza slices - couldn't derail me once I had guidelines to work within and succeed.

Of course, I also had help from the people closest to me. My parents, Megan and my friend Tim frequently convinced me that I wasn't wasting my time, and several people - my Uncle Tom and soon-to-be-in-laws among them - made me feel better by actually noticing what I was doing.

The biggest motivator, though, may have been the network that slowly filled in around me on MFP. Almost immediately, I got connected to Melissa, a friend of mine from just-after-college who wanted to lose the university weight and get healthy for her job at a fitness publisher. She's now lost 22 pounds and is headed for a Thanksgiving goal that I selfishly want to see her miss so I don't have to do my last month without her.

Then, a couple months later, that connection expanded into Lauren, my former colleague/president/director/editor, and other friends from my college theatre troupe, New Revels Players. I feel bad that I can barely keep up with all of them anymore, but together they've been a bigger inspiration than I can say.

Thanks to all of those people, my goal doesn't seem so impossible anymore. Today, halfway through the year, I'm halfway to my goal, and I couldn't be more thrilled.

So I just want to say, here tonight, in front of God and the Internet, thank you all. I'm sure many of you won't ever read this, and some won't ever find out what your help has meant to me, but it's truly the difference between being where I am now and being nowhere at all.

Let's keep this train rolling.

250-pound me and Megan with our friend Becca at her Champaign apartment in October. Note my bursting button.

The image I used to propose to Megan via photobook, taken at her Urbana apartment April 14 at 225 pounds.
It kills me that these photos won't look like me when I'm done. Also, none of these clothes remotely fit anymore. 

Megan and 200-pound me outside our apartment in Marion yesterday. Halfway there.

American Idol "Finale" Review: You'll Never Sing Alone

(Note: Yes, I'm aware how hilariously late this post is. See here for why, and my take on the competition finale is here.)

The season finale of American Idol always feels a bit like The Avengers; after spending so much time with each of these characters individually, it's almost insane to try to make a compelling product that features all of them effectively. While Joss Whedon answered that problem by generally being awesome, AI has addressed it by prioritizing its highest finishers and leaving the rest of the finalists to rot in group-performance purgatory. Sorry, Jeremy, Shannon, Erika, Heejun, DeAndre, Colton and Elise (!), say the producers; we'll see (most of) you on the tour.

(I can't help but chuckle, by the way, at Idol's insistence that the performers in the group numbers are this season's Top 12. Leave aside that Jessica and Phillip are absent. Isn't anybody else bothered by the 1984-style retcon of Jermaine Jones' existence? Conveniently, the AI YouTube archive stops with Top 11 week, immediately after Jermaine was disqualified. Interpret that any way you like.)

Meanwhile, the top 5 got to sing alongside their musical Idols, a great touch that's produced a few memorable moments (Scotty McCreery's rock-solid "Live Like You Were Dying" with Tim McGraw and James Durbin freaking the hell out at the sight of Judas Priest spring to mind.) and surprisingly little chaff (I'm looking at you, Lee DeWyze and Chicago). And, naturally, after those shenanigans, we saw Phillip Phillips receive the McCreery trophy and ride off into the sunset "Home."

Since this wasn't a competition show - and several performances were so baffling or frustrating I didn't complete them - I'll follow the What Not To Sing example and leave out any number grades. 

The final marks of the season:

Top 12 (Runaway Baby): *giggle, snort* I can't grade this. When did Idol become an advertising vehicle for So You Think You Can Dance?

Phillip Phillips & John Fogerty (Have You Ever Seen the Rain, Bad Moon Rising): I'll admit looking forward to these performances only to see Fogerty teach Phillip some things about, you know, singing, but P-squared managed to instead ruin not only his solo bits but the duet portions of his time alongside with a legend. This is your champion, America. You did this.

Joshua Ledet & Fantasia Barrino (Take Me to the Pilot): I can only imagine the tears of joy Michael Slezak wept at seeing his two most-bizarrely-overrated Idols ever squaring off in a screech-a-thon. (No kidding Fantasia's the biggest inspiration in Joshua's life.) For me, though, this was reminiscent of last year's ill-fated Casey Abrams-Jack Black duet - yes, I know it's what he enjoys, but taking baby's favorite toy might force him to grow a little. Also, could Fantasia sound more like a squealing munchkin?

Top 12 Girls & Chaka Khan (Medley): Hot damn these ladies sound good! Even with one of the best voices in Idol history spending most of the performance on the bench, the five female finalists save Jessica sang stunningly well. What a spectacular performance and reminder that America has its head up its collective ass letting a man take the Season 11 crown.

Skylar Laine & Reba McEntire (Turn On the Radio): From Skylar's opening salvo calling the judges liars to the sublime harmony between one Idol's best country singers ever and one of the best country singers ever, I couldn't have loved this performance any more. A better arrangement wouldn't hurt - what's with the techno twang? - and, once again, the background singers can all go die, but this double act is ready for the big time. MORE.

Jessica Sanchez (I Will Always Love You): Um. Why is this here? Not a bad performance, but we've already seen it. Seriously, isn't this kind of reprise usually for the competitive finale? I'm baffled. 

Top 12 Guys & Neil Diamond (Medley): Yikes. Just... yikes. When did Neil Diamond become a parody of himself? And is it possible of seven men in the final 13 I only legitimately liked two of them?

Jennifer Lopez (Goin' In and Follow the Leader): I would bet my life that this vocal was pre-recorded, which seemed to be confirmed by the echoing and flawless notes through a variety of preposterous gyrations. Yes, Jenny from the block can still bust a wicked calf. Why is this a priority on the AI finale, exactly?

Ace Young & Diana DeGarmo (The Proposal): No, this couldn't have been any more manufactured. Yes, I still believed it, and yes, I loved it.

Hollie Cavanagh & Jordin Sparks (You'll Never Walk Alone): Hollie still hasn't escaped Ballad Hell, but she always sounded great there anyway, and doubly so with one of Idol's most famous ballad-belting champions. Other than a weak song and some bland pacing - at some point I'll stop harping on background singers - this was a fine performance and a fitting end to Hollie's enjoyable run.

Top 12 Guys (Tribute to Robin Gibb): *snore*

Jessica Sanchez and Jennifer Holliday (And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going): Performances like this remind me why I started watching AI. Power! Emotion! Enunciation! This diva battle had everything one could hope for, including hilarious interplay between the two at their own over-the-top-ness. Bravo, ladies. A clash of the titans in every sense of the word.

Jessica Sanchez and Phillip Phillips (Up Where We Belong): Apparently Jessica was the duet partner Phillip needed all along. No, he didn't look good by comparison, but she pulled actual singing - singing! - out of him and created some fine harmonies around his sometimes-tepid vocals. Not life-changing, and ENOUGH WITH THE BACKUP SINGERS - but a decent duet that made both finalists look good.

Phillip Phillips (Home): Seacrest deserves an Emmy Award for claiming Phillip wowed us all season and lending this farce some sense of meaning. Still, I loved seeing Phillip tear up during his final performance as a contestant, and he symbolizes Season 11 perfectly: flawed, sometimes amazing, often frustrating, but definitely worth a watch. More on that in my season recap soon.

American Idol "Top 2" Review: The Home Stretch

(Note: Yes, I'm aware how hilariously late this post is. See here for why.)

After three (five) months of waiting, I've seen the coronation of the newest American Idol.

The verdict: a resounding "meh."

As much as I thought Phillip Phillips' victory would be/was the end of the world, I can't scrape together that much enthusiasm after his competitors slumped the last couple weeks and he submitted some redeemable performances, including "Volcano" during top four week, last week's unbelievable "We've Got Tonight" and this week's... well, we'll get to that soon enough.

The performances:

Jessica Sanchez (I Have Nothing): Large portions of this melody were out of Jessica's (impressive) range, but her command of the rest made this a sufficient if forgettable Whitney cover. Remember, of course, that covering Whitney and not looking like a fool is incredibly difficult, so props to Jessica for making the concept of covering her seem reasonable. A solid start to what could be a one-sided evening. 65

Phillip Phillips (Stand By Me): Predictable flat guitar-wielding Phillip was back for this performance, although the genre switch and a hint of charisma made it more interesting than the average P-squared vocal. Not as bad as I expected, but the fact that Phillip's above-average performance here didn't rival Jessica's bland opening salvo doesn't bode well. 45

Jessica Sanchez (The Prayer): And that's how Jessica got her groove back. After a few lukewarm song choices and tepid arrangements in recent weeks, Ms. Sanchez reclaimed her throne as by far the most spectacular performer of Season 11 and made every adult within earshot shout at their tween to stop blogging about Phillip's goatee and watch somebody else for a change. A subtle arrangement, clear, powerful vocals and a sublimely executed key change made this the best finale performance since "Up to the Mountain." It's a shame that, like Crystal, Jessica will have to take my praise and heartfelt gratitude rather than the Idol sash. 90

Phillip Phillips (Movin' Out): Oh joy, Phillip is reprising a performance I thought was bland in the first place. I dug the background players - the singers can go to Hell, but that's not unusual - but I'm infinitely more interested in them than Phillip's continued brutalizing of melody and bland delivery. Not the worst Idol finale performance ever, but that's mainly thanks to "No Boundaries" and Kris Allen crossing paths in Season 8. Point: Jessica. 10

Jessica Sanchez (Change Nothing): Speaking of which, it's time for the original winner's songs©, an annual exercise in futility that recently had been abandoned for other material, with varying results (see: "I Love You This Big" versus "Like My Mother Does" last spring.) Jessica's has all the boxes checked: "change" in the title, a light piano interlude, hackneyed high-school-poetry writing and a vaguely incomprehensible chorus that says love can solve everything. Regardless, Jessica did a decent job by taking two incredibly difficult songs in the finale and looking decent on the other side. Bravo, Jessica. Now be free, perform the material you deserve and blow our minds. I'm counting on it. 50

Phillip Phillips (Home): Wow, Phillip is playing a guitar in his original winner's song©! Besides that utterly predictable twist, this was a surprisingly listenable performance. Aside from some awful writing, this could have been a lost page from the Neil Diamond songbook, and that's a direction Phillip could really excel in. Add some actual singing - singing! - and this was the closest to a follow-up to "We've Got Tonight" as I could have expected. Nice work, son. Taylor gets to keep his brown crown. 75

After slogging through my vegetables with the last two weeks of competitive performances, the finale now awaits, a strawberry rhubarb pie with extra Elise on top. I can hardly wait. Hopefully I'll be back soon with that treat and another confection: my look back at the year that was, complete with recipe for a delicious Season 12.

Until then.

American Idol "Top 3" Review: Are We There Yet?

Is it over?

Just kidding - I haven't actually tuned out for the past two months since May 10's Top 4 results show set the stage for a battle to determine whether Jessica Sanchez (please?), Phillip Phillips (God no) or Joshua Ledet (yeah right) would be crowned the 11th American Idol. (I have, however, gotten engaged, moved to a new apartment, started a side project at work, watched E3 trailers, played Mass Effect 3 and seen The Avengers twice. More on those later.)

No, what's kept me away this long has been sheer, bitter apathy after the two following weeks' results were spoiled to me on Twitter. None of it was majorly shocking - Twitter spoils things all the time, Joshua never had a chance of winning while black, and Phillip's tween legion was looking more unstoppable each week - but it sapped the life force out of my AI recapping and, as I said before, made me question whether I would ever watch the show again.

Well, here we are.

It's impossible to recapture the experience of watching the top 3, top 2 and finale shows immediately after they aired, so I come to this with the disclaimer that my opinions of these performances hold two months of bottled rage and angst as well as the usual season worth of momentum and years of comparisons.

With that said, however, let's hop in the wayback machine and examine the vocals that led to P-squared's coronation and find out if, as I predicted, he took the Taylor Hicks turd sandwich mantel of worst winner in AI history.

Joshua Ledet (I'd Rather Be Blind): The look, vocal slides and piano arrangement of this performance reminded me why, despite his frequent over-the-top ridiculata, Ledet's top three placement over the three previous eliminees didn't make me want to throw things at the wall. The screeching and scratchy scatting at the conclusion reminded me why I've never considered him a major threat to advance any further than that. Typical; or, to quote Serenity, "Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal," Mr. Ledet. 60

Jessica Sanchez (My All): Fog, a purple prom dress and a raised platform spelled Idol-class missionary ballad position, but Jessica channeled the energy she might have used tripping over enormous heels to nail another diva classic (Mariah's a diva, right?). She was out of breath and ahead of the music too often for it to be a classic, but a touching, evocative performance that makes me glad I came back to AI despite the soul-crushing results just around the bend. 70

Phillip Phillips (Beggin'): The cynial side of me wants to hate Phillip for coming back with more guitar-ed alt-rock, but his tone actually worked for me in the beginning of this performance. Like Joshua, he degenerated into his schtick - grumbled growling with only vague hints of melody - but considering his previous performances (or what I still remember of them), this isn't bad for Phillip. Sadly, I don't grade on a curve. 40

Joshua Ledet (Imagine): Archuleta alert! That Joshua chose this subdued, gorgeous classic shows the complete lack of awareness he has of how to use his instrument, and the performance only proved that. More earnest than his usual, but still whiny, grating and got in a screech in at the end. Oy vey. 40

Jessica Sanchez (I Don't Want to Miss a Thing): Perhaps my favorite ballad of all-time, this was a canny choice for the one female left in the competition who can do it outside Steven Tyler's (and to a lesser extent David Cook's) shadow. As much as I loved the orchestral arrangement, however, the rest of this performance felt too studio-perfect to evoke the emotion and desperation that make this song a classic. Not at all unpleasant - please, Jessica, keep singing the best songs ever with those pipes - but not the classic it could have been given her prodigious talent. 65

Phillip Phillips (Disease): Stunning that Phillip would choose an alternative, guitar-driven, smoldering selection to keep the Phillip-bots sated, but I have to give him credit for strategy if nothing - absolutely nothing - else. 25 

Joshua Ledet (No More Drama): The bouncing, shouting manner of this vocal clashed so spectacularly with the song's tone and message I half-expected Mary J. Blige to come out of the audience and storm onto the stage to show the continually clueless Joshua how to deliver a song with control and emotion. Unlike his predecessors, there would be no stunningly great exit performance for this week's victim. 15

Jessica Sanchez (I'll Be There): On the cusp of the last vote she'd have a chance to survive (not that I'm bitter), Jessica uncorked a clear, inspiring performance of a song that's neither an Idol missionary ballad or the kind of up-tempo radio tripe she's tried to strengthen all year. Nothing spectacular here, but a fun, powerhouse performance to remind us that Jessica's far and away the best pure vocalist of the season and the best Idol's seen in some time. 80 

Phillip Phillips (We've Got Tonight): The only thing more incredible than Ryan Seacrest claiming Phillip is competing for the finale rather than the crown is this performance itself. Out of nowhere, Phillip used his obvious vocal talents, sans guitar, bedroom eyes or alt-rock to deliver one of my favorite performances of the season. Sublime orchestral arrangement, beautifully understated staging and actual singing - singing! - made this performance an instant classic and an absolute, honest-to-God, where-the-hell-did-that-come-from stunner from my most-hated AI contestant in years. 90

A fun, polarizing show overall, with exciting implications for the finale. I'll skip the power poll - I've been making recap-text love to Jessica and spitting on Phillip's smoldering face for months - but I'm excited to see if the final AI 11 performance show was, as Simon Cowell said of Cook-Archuleta (and fit better with DeWyze-Bowersox), a knockout. 

Back soon with that, a recap of the final AI show of the year and an extremely late postmortem that asks how the show can recapture the magic of the season's first half next spring. Hint: Everything must go.

American Idol "Top 4" Review: It's a Phillip Phillip Phillips' World

If nothing else, last week's Hollie-surgence all the way to the top of my chart showed how closely-packed the three legitimate singers left in this competition are. With only three weeks left in the season after Wednesday night, it was time for Hollie, Jessica and Joshua to give their very best and deliver a couple surprises to keep us talking about them over the Phillip-hatred cacophony that's rapidly engulfing what was a fabulous season.

The marks:

Phillip Phillips (Have You Ever Seen the Rain): Part of me wants to stop grading Phillip's performances out of protest - the way you might avoid discussing season six of 24 when recapping its remarkable run - but, like the Bauer Power Hour, AI has been so good for so long that I'll tough it out and hope for better next time, a distinct possibility given the absurdly good top three he performs around (and is destined to prevent). To Phillip's credit, he left his guitar behind and focused on putting his full effort into the vocal despite the fact that he clearly didn't understand what the sound was about. It still sounded like a stroke victim bleating over a P.A. system, but God bless him for trying. Moving on... 25   

Hollie Cavanagh (Faithfully): Hollie's drifting perilously into ballads-only territory, a somber place where I trade drinks with Anoop Desai, Elliot Yamin and Clay Aiken and lament their Idol fortunes. Nonetheless, this was a deftly executed missionary position ballad. Hollie broke away from the wind-swept, stationary delivery only in lacking a prom dress, and ultimately this performance felt well-executed but unremarkable. Not at all bad, but not life-changing either. 65

Joshua Ledet (You Raise Me Up): Garbled delivery, tears in the eyes and a choked voice, while showing a great deal of passion, do not a good performance make. (Neither does raising him up on a literal platform, continually on-the-nose producers.) The inevitable key change felt completely unearned and alienated me further from the first ordinary stinker of Joshua's Idol run. At least he surprised me. 25

Jessica Sanchez (Steal Away): I completely dug the vibe and delivery of this performance, which normally spells legendary status with Jessica. Again, though, I was surprised; Season 11's most consistently technically-sound performer completely butchered the melody of this song and missed several notes along the way. Yikes. 40

Joshua Ledet and Phillip Phillips (This Love): After one of my favorite (cheesy) songs carried Joshua and Phillip to a perfectly mediocre duet despite less chemistry than me and gym equipment, another favorite didn't repeat the trick. The completely disconnected delivery bled into a uninspired vocal that left me longing for it to be over. Forget last week, Idolsphere. This is the worst duet in Idol history. 5

Hollie Cavanagh and Jessica Sanchez (Eternal Flame): Did Idol hire Blue Man Group to help arrange its staging? I can't think of any other explanation for the bizarre cloth swings that made this staid performance even less interesting. A mid-song tempo change generated a little excitement, and their harmony was sublime - these are the two best competitors standing, remember - but overall forgettable. 55

Phillip Phillips (Volcano): A brilliantly-staged, understated performance - I'm a sucker for a cello - that reminded me how Phillip earned a spot in the finals in the first place. I'm still never going to love Phillip's complete lack of tone, but I think this is as close as it gets. 70

Hollie Cavanagh (I Can't Make You Love Me): Hollie apparently missed the memo that this song is now property: Allison Iraheta, but I'm glad to hear it nonetheless. Again, I love the orchestral arrangement, and it was a fine vocal, but lacked any excitement whatsoever. Could last week's #1 already go home? 60

Joshua Ledet (It's a Man's Man's Man's World): Absolutely love the staging; well-done with violins; yet another overbaked vocal from the second-most perplexing performer of the season. I've avoided invoking Jacob Lusk with Joshua the last couple weeks, but this performance had crying faces and stank all over it. No. Just no. 30

Jessica Sanchez (And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going): Speaking of stepping on hallowed ground, Jessica ignored the "J-Hud" label on this song - granted, she was eight years old when that happened -  and proceeded to nail it with just enough attitude to make a real connection and be tuneful at the same time, the defining dichotomy of this ever-stranger season. I'm not fully on board with this being the Idol Moment the producers seem to want it to be - too much blandness in the middle before an unbelievable finish - but a very good way to wrap up a lackluster, uneven show. 80

The top four power poll, complete this week with prediction! (I'd forgotten what it felt like to actually handicap an elimination.)

4. Phillip Phillips

Yes, he sucks. No, he's not going anywhere. Will he win? I still doubt it - the love for Jessica is too strong, and still growing - but he's more than popular enough to stay through the finale and put his distasteful mark on every show this season. If anything could squander a solid season ten and a spectacular season 11 top ten, it's a black star winner like Phillip. Forget Danny Gokey; we're entering the Taylor Hicks zone of inexplicable Idol atrocity.

3. Joshua Ledet

2. Hollie Cavanagh

Joshua. like his competition for the second slot, is up and down, but it's becoming rapidly clear that all other things equal I'm going to enjoy Hollie's more. Neither was especially good this week, but given the love for Joshua's ridiculousness I have to pick the joyously resurgent Hollie to leave tonight. Thank God for...

1. Jessica Sanchez

It's hard to believe in a season this talented I'm bracing myself for a final three in which I'll hate two, but Jessica's continued brilliance is more than enough to keep me watching no matter how bad her competitors are. It's hard to believe the hormone-throttled power voters behind Phillip-squared could block her from the crown, but nonetheless Jessica has placed herself in the Idol pantheon and has an excellent shot at ending the tween-fueled white-guy-with-guitar reign of Idol's recent past. I might even consider voting.

That's all for top four. Allow me to check tonight's results...

Not surprisingly, Hollie rides off into the sunset. After spending so many weeks rooting for Elise against Hollie in the punching-bag derby, I was stunned how quickly and how much I enjoyed Hollie's last couple weeks, and I look forward to finding out what niche she plans to carve in a radio world increasingly disinterested in wholesome pop singers.

Idol has yet to release a top three theme, although based on previous years it's likely to be contestant's choice, judge's choice and producer's choice to accompany hometown visits. Here's hoping Jessica gets great material, Joshua receives some solid guidance and they tag-team Phillip back home next Thursday.

American Idol "Top 5" Review: Talent Deep, Songbook Shallow

(The introduction to this piece was written last week while I was still waiting for American Idol's YouTube page to post performances, which it finally did Tuesday. What the hell, Fox.)

After last week's depressing but utterly predictable elimination, it's time to move out of the midcard and get down to the business of choosing the next American Idol. Each contestant remaining has a legitimate shot, so it's up to the next five weeks of performances to determine which will inherit Scotty McCreery's throne. (As is de rigeur for these recaps, yes, I'm aware it won't be our favorite AI11 Country diva.)

The final five tackled that challenge with another dual theme: British music and hits of the 1960's. While neither especially lights my fire, I'm excited to see which finalists will distinguish themselves from the pack and gain favorite status in the home stretch.

(It doesn't fit into the recap, but allow me to rage against Idol stopping its full-season precedent of uploading performances to YouTube the next day and instead putting them only on americanidol.com, where they're accompanied by intrusive advertising and a stripped-down, featureless player. What's more, they've stopped showing any lenience to YouTube uploaders as they did in seasons past. EXPLETIVES DELETED) 

The performances:

Hollie Cavanagh (River Deep Mountain High): The swaying, crowd-leading open to this performance was dangerously cheesy, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't dig the hell out of it. I had difficulty getting Pia Toscano out of my head during this performance, but Hollie knocked it out of the park and rearranged it enough to feel distinct. I still don't love the song, but this is a star-making version. 80

Phillip Phillips (The Letter): Forget Skylar: here's Scotty McCreery 2.0. Maybe it's not fair to blame Phillip for the hackneyed letter-writing background, but it perfectly reflected his performance: baffling, irritating and just too much. Not the worst performance ever - probably not of the season, and possibly not even Phillip's worst of the season - but another strike against my most-hated finalist. 20

Skylar Laine (Fortunate Son): I felt a familiar wave of county-affirmation disgust at this performance, but Skylar rocked it nonetheless. It's southern rock, but it's still a pleasure to see her tackle material that's not strictly country. Sad to see her go, but contributes to a developing trend: delivering an amazing performance on the way out, and on a song I love no less. This is destined for the season-end mix. 75

Joshua and Phillip (You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling): Every now and then Phillip shows potential like this that just irritates the living hell out of me. He's got a wonderful instrument and absolutely no idea how to use it. Speaking of which, Joshua verged yet again into just-too-muchery here, but overall I dug it. Note to the producers: please stop making people duet with Phillip. No one likes to work with the slow kid, and he's not getting any faster. I'm a sucker for this kind of cheese - hello, Top Gun - but enough already. We're in the finals. 40

Jessica Sanchez (Proud Mary): Jessica trotted out her best Tina impersonation, but as with most Tina covers it simply made me miss the original. It even made me miss Syesha Mercado's version; she clearly understood the song, which Jessica, despite her wailing, never quite convinced me of. Plus 10 for the dress and the shimmy, another few points for a proficient vocal. but can't be a Hall of Famer without more resonance. 65

Joshua Ledet (Ain't Too Proud to Beg): Another song I'm not wild about from Joshua, and with his typical overselling that's a recipe for a low rating. Never connected with the song, never tried anything unusual, never mind. 40

Hollie Cavanagh (Bleeding Love): The producers did their best to sabotage Hollie's beautifully understated performance with an over-the-top heart graphic at the top, but every succulency-pared note afterward was perfection. Lacked a defining instant to make it an Idol Moment, but an outstanding performance that continues Hollie's unlikely resurgence in style. 75

Phillip Phillips (Time of the Season): While "The Letter" was unpleasant, this was a certified trainwreck. Between the bland, almost apologetic vocal and lethargic pace, this performance seemed to last forever. Or is that me projecting how I feel about P-squared's Idol run? 5

Hollie, Jessica and Skylar (Higher and Higher): Just when I started thinking Hollie could threaten Jessica, this performance proved it. Skylar retreated to her usual schtick while the two heavyweights duked it out for the top of the power poll. Oh, the performance? Blah. Whatever. Can we stop with the group B.S. now? 30

Skylar Laine (You Don't Have to Say You Love Me): Skylar borrowed two unfortunate tactics from the Lauren Alaina playbook here: the dreadfully boring classic ballad and the billowy prom dress that flares out over the legs for no discernable reason. She deviated by completely overpowering the song and making me wish it would end. Okay. maybe that elimination makes a little more sense now. 40

Jessica Sanchez (You Are So Beautiful): Jessica brought all her vulnerability for this song, which gave what's generally a staid, bland choice an intriguing edge. She predictably sang the daylights out of it, and the recast - which she actually seemed to understand - made it an entirely new song, which she of course now owns. 80

Joshua Ledet (To Love Somebody): I applaud Joshua for personally connecting to every song, but it leads him more often into the heart of Shreakville with no way out. As soon as I saw the tears well up I knew Joshua was in trouble, and this was if anything more outrageous than his previous ventures into overexertion. Sigh. 30

The new power poll:

4. Phillip Phillips

I'm out of things to say. You wished this on yourselves, teenyboppers. For the rest of us, you've Danny Gokey-ed the season - like S8, any discussion of S11's crazy talented finalists will begin with a gigantic asterisk. I've said it before, but if this hack wins I'm probably done with the show.

3. Joshua Ledet

Joshua's obscene talent is harnessed more frequently than Phillip's, but he's still too unpredictable to forecast for the finals. Does nobody coach these kids? I'm going to blame the judges. Okay, I feel better now.

2. Jessica Sanchez

1. Hollie Cavanagh

After several weeks hanging on to frontrunner status despite a couple glaring flaws, Jessica finally gave it up to an increasingly complete performer who's putting on an unbelievable charge to the finish that could make her Idol's most unlikely feel-good winner since Kris Allen. Rock on, Hollie. You're probably going to end up more Haley than Kris, but I'll be damned if I don't root for you until the moment it's over.

Overall a decent week that handicapped a very talented group of performers with truly terrible songs. Hopefully next week (this week) is better with California songs and tunes they wish they wrote. Given the dubious artistic choices these finalists make week to week, I'm afraid already.

Anime Central 2012, Day Four+: What's Next?

A little over a week after my first convention, I can't stop thinking about my second.

While I made it clear in my Day Three post that I'll be returning for Anime Central 2013, I'm rapidly beginning to think that's not good enough. I went into ACen expecting it to be Penny Arcade Expo practice and my only convention of 2012. The former remains in the distance - I can't afford to go to Seattle this fall, and all the badges sold out in 48 hours anyway - but the latter has become almost unthinkable. ACen 2013 is still over a year away! Derek want more dork time!

Should I take the plunge on another convention close to home, there are three obvious options:

Geek.Kon 2012, a convention in Madison that Tim and I were pitched at ACen Friday and may still go to Sep. 7-9 even though it drew a record attendance last year of 1,625;

Chicago Comic-Con, an Aug. 8-11 gala at my now-familiar stomping grounds in Rosemont that appears larger (70,000 by the Tribune's count in 2010) and more mainstream than ACen but, comparing its site to ACen's, seems to come with a sickly corporate culture;

and Gen Con, an Indianapolis institution running Aug. 16-19 that would be the leader in the clubhouse if I didn't have to persuade my friends to come to Indiana.

(Mercifully, I've already missed C2E2 and, as mentioned above, both PAX's. An insane part of me wants to visit the granddaddy of them all, San Diego Comic-Con, but it's also sold out.)

Regardless, I'll carry to my second and all future conventions the hard-won lessons of ACen 2012. I made several great calls and some awful ones throughout the weekend, and they show exactly how I can improve my performance and avoid a sophomore slump.

GOOD IDEA: Buying a badge in advance

Simply dedicating myself to going to ACen early and throwing down the money for a badge saved me at least two hours in line Friday and $10. I ended up waiting in line with other people anyway, but jumping early and grabbing the best deal and peace of mind was my first great call of the weekend.

BAD IDEA: Agonizing over my weekend schedule

The most laughable part of my ACen experience was the gigantic amount of panels I penciled in to my schedule after I ordered my badge and needed more things to plan. Aside from the Exhibit Hall and other distractions I wouldn't think of missing next time, I forgot that going to panels requires waiting in line and being in the right place at the right time. Next year I'll pick about four panels each day to consider attending and leave it at that.

GOOD IDEA: Bringing an iOS device

The Guidebook app was a lifesaver not only in customizing my panel schedule - right - but also in helping me find particular booths in the Exhibit Hall and telling me operating hours for each section of the convention. Frequent updates throughout the weekend kept me up to date as those who relied on the physical book got a steadily more hilarious array of printed inserts each morning.

BAD IDEA: Not reading the physical guide first thing anyway

Despite the immense amount of information in the Guidebook, the physical guide featured more detailed schedules, including the exact timing of Friday's Assassin's Creed wedding. On the other hand, that goof allowed Tim and me to get acquainted with some fellow congoers, adjust to the Hyatt and produce this deleted scene:

GOOD IDEA: Spending a lot of time at the Exhibit Hall

I very much enjoyed the panels I did get to, whether they blew my mind or not, but around those isolated moments of awesome were cosplayers, artists and exhibitors that served as vital connecting tissue. Exhibit Hall isn't the headline of ACen, but it's the backbone, and it's the single part I'm looking forward to most for 2013.

BAD IDEA: Walking like crazy

The unfortunate result of my Exhibit Hall fixation was absolutely murdering my legs; I was limping right along with Forsuk Sunday, so next year will require less travelling on foot or a much healthier, fitter me. Stay tuned.

GOOD IDEA: Tormenting my friends until they agreed to come too

I'm not proud of my methods, but two solid months of teleharassment resulted in a varied, omnipresent cast of friends - one of whom had never attended a convention and another who hadn't visited ACen - making my weekend one not only to remember but to reminisce about as well. With any luck they'll invite their friends and pack the convention even more full of awesome next spring.

BAD IDEA: Refusing go to panels alone or wait in long lines

This was partially because I hosted that revolving door of friends, with whom I waited in line and did about five total circuits of the Exhibit Hall, but of the plethora of panels that interested me at ACen I made it to only six. I missed Oregon Trail, Anime Hell, the Masquerade (which was cancelled anyway), Soap Bubble and a variety of topic panels including Halo, Ren Faire and Pokemon. I'm sure I still would have missed some, but flatly saying "I will not go alone or wait in line longer than 30 minutes" instantly ruled out a lot of things that might have been worth the effort.

GOOD IDEA: Making time for the little things

While I fell well short of my panel projections, it was more than worth it to test Dance Central 2, discover Wits and Wagers and generally soak up the atmosphere at my first convention. I didn't even mention playing Metal Slug with Jack or watching a friendly Wii player rock the first level of Resident Evil 4. I'll come back to ACen sharper, more focused and ready to accomplish concrete goals, but taking a laid-back approach paid major dividends this year.

BAD IDEA: Showing up early

As much as I wanted to squeeze every last moment out of ACen, the action didn't ramp up until about noon each day, and on Sunday in particular I wasted a lot of time waiting for things to happen. Since I still managed to be exhausted around midnight each day despite my iron will, a noon to 2 a.m. schedule is closer to ideal.

GOOD IDEA: Staying at a hotel

As tired as I was by the end of the weekend, it would have been ten times worse had I cheaped out and driven to and from my dad's in Peotone each day rather than bunking at the DoubleTree in Schaumburg. I may stay at an on-site hotel next year, but if they're booked early or too expensive, Schaumburg is a fantastic Plan B.

BAD IDEA: Eating spoiled food

You'd really think, at 23, I'd know this by now. Let's just move on.

Finally, I should credit a few folks not mentioned in my posts who made ACen amazing: my coworkers, Matt Troutman and Mishele Wright, who picked up the reporting load Friday while I took a vacation day; a few friendly cosplayers whom I saw repeatedly all weekend and came to refer to as "frequent fliers," including a very shapely Lara Croft, a woman with Toad on her head, a Naked Snake with a box over his torso, both varieties of Yuna and a pretty poor Capt. Falcon (other entertaining cosplays included Adam West Batman, Domo Kun, Jesus, several Links, Missing No., Undertaker and crossplaying Yuna); and my former Chronicle-Tribune compatriot Melissa Vogt, from whom I shamelessly ripped off the title of my aforementioned Day Three post.

Feel free to send me any questions you have about ACen either in the comments here, at facebook.com/derek.beigh or on Twitter @zorak9379. I'd love to convert another couple friends to attend future conventions.

With that said, good night from Anime Central 2012. I can't wait to continue this series in 2013.