Weight Loss: Halftime

Six months ago, I decided I was done weighing 250 pounds.

This wasn't a decision I took lightly. Through a stressful, ambitious lifestyle, I'd grown to rely on food to give me energy when I wasn't sleeping enough; pleasure when I wasn't happy enough; and an excuse not to talk when I wasn't not awkward enough. Every time I thought I might do something about my weight, the same excuses came back: I couldn't afford less sleep; didn't want less happiness; wasn't about to be less awkward.

Finally, in Mt. Vernon, that changed.

After I graduated, I spent the next six months wanting to find work and the following half-year wishing my job would give me more work. Nonetheless, I thought, I have time to knock out some of my 43 Things: I finished the 64-book Animorphs series after an eight-year layoff between books 26 and 27, watched every episode of Frasier and started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I'm now halfway through season five). But the item at the top of my list - then a generic "lose weight" - was too frightening to contemplate.

Then, last fall, two things happened very close together.

First, my then-co-worker, the then-newly-wed Rorye, persuaded me to sign up for the Jefferson County YMCA's Losing Team program, which would team us up with our boss and another person to live the healthiest lifestyle over the next three months. I was hesitant but told her I'd consider it.

Then, the next weekend, I traveled to Champaign-Urbana to see my girlfriend Megan and got an unexpected call at 2:15 a.m. Saturday. My old college drinking/Star Trek TNG buddy Steve wanted to catch up. He was doing great, I found out: in addition to finding a job in his field in Bloomington (a much bigger, nicer town than Mt. Vernon), he'd lost something like 50 pounds by eating right. While Steve was always lighter than I was, here was someone who had worse habits than I did - Hot Pockets seemed to be a religion when he lived across the street from me - but turned it around through research, time and an iron will.

Besides, if he could do it, why couldn't I?

I changed my goal to a concrete "lose 100 pounds," calculated my BMR and BMI, attended some YMCA sessions and got started.

Alas, that effort was short-lived, as I moved to Marion in November and needed badly to get my bearings and not worry about my food for a while. Still, I'd lost ten pounds in two months using calorie-counter MyFitnessPal, and the seed of an idea was planted.

January 9, after my life wasn't so complicated by job adjustments, other people's year-end vacations and the holidays, I decided to pick up where I'd left off. One of my coworkers was fired that day - naturally - but enough was enough; I was done. 250 would be a thing of the past.

Slowly, through a lot of salads, air-popped popcorn and hours upon hours of just plain being hungry, I saw results. By February I was 240 pounds; in March, 230; in April, 220; and so on. Even the occasional slip-up - loads of stuffed pizza at ACEN, a beer-filled Memorial Day weekend in Madison, a very unhealthy birthday dinner complete with multiple burgers and pizza slices - couldn't derail me once I had guidelines to work within and succeed.

Of course, I also had help from the people closest to me. My parents, Megan and my friend Tim frequently convinced me that I wasn't wasting my time, and several people - my Uncle Tom and soon-to-be-in-laws among them - made me feel better by actually noticing what I was doing.

The biggest motivator, though, may have been the network that slowly filled in around me on MFP. Almost immediately, I got connected to Melissa, a friend of mine from just-after-college who wanted to lose the university weight and get healthy for her job at a fitness publisher. She's now lost 22 pounds and is headed for a Thanksgiving goal that I selfishly want to see her miss so I don't have to do my last month without her.

Then, a couple months later, that connection expanded into Lauren, my former colleague/president/director/editor, and other friends from my college theatre troupe, New Revels Players. I feel bad that I can barely keep up with all of them anymore, but together they've been a bigger inspiration than I can say.

Thanks to all of those people, my goal doesn't seem so impossible anymore. Today, halfway through the year, I'm halfway to my goal, and I couldn't be more thrilled.

So I just want to say, here tonight, in front of God and the Internet, thank you all. I'm sure many of you won't ever read this, and some won't ever find out what your help has meant to me, but it's truly the difference between being where I am now and being nowhere at all.

Let's keep this train rolling.

250-pound me and Megan with our friend Becca at her Champaign apartment in October. Note my bursting button.

The image I used to propose to Megan via photobook, taken at her Urbana apartment April 14 at 225 pounds.
It kills me that these photos won't look like me when I'm done. Also, none of these clothes remotely fit anymore. 

Megan and 200-pound me outside our apartment in Marion yesterday. Halfway there.

American Idol "Finale" Review: You'll Never Sing Alone

(Note: Yes, I'm aware how hilariously late this post is. See here for why, and my take on the competition finale is here.)

The season finale of American Idol always feels a bit like The Avengers; after spending so much time with each of these characters individually, it's almost insane to try to make a compelling product that features all of them effectively. While Joss Whedon answered that problem by generally being awesome, AI has addressed it by prioritizing its highest finishers and leaving the rest of the finalists to rot in group-performance purgatory. Sorry, Jeremy, Shannon, Erika, Heejun, DeAndre, Colton and Elise (!), say the producers; we'll see (most of) you on the tour.

(I can't help but chuckle, by the way, at Idol's insistence that the performers in the group numbers are this season's Top 12. Leave aside that Jessica and Phillip are absent. Isn't anybody else bothered by the 1984-style retcon of Jermaine Jones' existence? Conveniently, the AI YouTube archive stops with Top 11 week, immediately after Jermaine was disqualified. Interpret that any way you like.)

Meanwhile, the top 5 got to sing alongside their musical Idols, a great touch that's produced a few memorable moments (Scotty McCreery's rock-solid "Live Like You Were Dying" with Tim McGraw and James Durbin freaking the hell out at the sight of Judas Priest spring to mind.) and surprisingly little chaff (I'm looking at you, Lee DeWyze and Chicago). And, naturally, after those shenanigans, we saw Phillip Phillips receive the McCreery trophy and ride off into the sunset "Home."

Since this wasn't a competition show - and several performances were so baffling or frustrating I didn't complete them - I'll follow the What Not To Sing example and leave out any number grades. 

The final marks of the season:

Top 12 (Runaway Baby): *giggle, snort* I can't grade this. When did Idol become an advertising vehicle for So You Think You Can Dance?

Phillip Phillips & John Fogerty (Have You Ever Seen the Rain, Bad Moon Rising): I'll admit looking forward to these performances only to see Fogerty teach Phillip some things about, you know, singing, but P-squared managed to instead ruin not only his solo bits but the duet portions of his time alongside with a legend. This is your champion, America. You did this.

Joshua Ledet & Fantasia Barrino (Take Me to the Pilot): I can only imagine the tears of joy Michael Slezak wept at seeing his two most-bizarrely-overrated Idols ever squaring off in a screech-a-thon. (No kidding Fantasia's the biggest inspiration in Joshua's life.) For me, though, this was reminiscent of last year's ill-fated Casey Abrams-Jack Black duet - yes, I know it's what he enjoys, but taking baby's favorite toy might force him to grow a little. Also, could Fantasia sound more like a squealing munchkin?

Top 12 Girls & Chaka Khan (Medley): Hot damn these ladies sound good! Even with one of the best voices in Idol history spending most of the performance on the bench, the five female finalists save Jessica sang stunningly well. What a spectacular performance and reminder that America has its head up its collective ass letting a man take the Season 11 crown.

Skylar Laine & Reba McEntire (Turn On the Radio): From Skylar's opening salvo calling the judges liars to the sublime harmony between one Idol's best country singers ever and one of the best country singers ever, I couldn't have loved this performance any more. A better arrangement wouldn't hurt - what's with the techno twang? - and, once again, the background singers can all go die, but this double act is ready for the big time. MORE.

Jessica Sanchez (I Will Always Love You): Um. Why is this here? Not a bad performance, but we've already seen it. Seriously, isn't this kind of reprise usually for the competitive finale? I'm baffled. 

Top 12 Guys & Neil Diamond (Medley): Yikes. Just... yikes. When did Neil Diamond become a parody of himself? And is it possible of seven men in the final 13 I only legitimately liked two of them?

Jennifer Lopez (Goin' In and Follow the Leader): I would bet my life that this vocal was pre-recorded, which seemed to be confirmed by the echoing and flawless notes through a variety of preposterous gyrations. Yes, Jenny from the block can still bust a wicked calf. Why is this a priority on the AI finale, exactly?

Ace Young & Diana DeGarmo (The Proposal): No, this couldn't have been any more manufactured. Yes, I still believed it, and yes, I loved it.

Hollie Cavanagh & Jordin Sparks (You'll Never Walk Alone): Hollie still hasn't escaped Ballad Hell, but she always sounded great there anyway, and doubly so with one of Idol's most famous ballad-belting champions. Other than a weak song and some bland pacing - at some point I'll stop harping on background singers - this was a fine performance and a fitting end to Hollie's enjoyable run.

Top 12 Guys (Tribute to Robin Gibb): *snore*

Jessica Sanchez and Jennifer Holliday (And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going): Performances like this remind me why I started watching AI. Power! Emotion! Enunciation! This diva battle had everything one could hope for, including hilarious interplay between the two at their own over-the-top-ness. Bravo, ladies. A clash of the titans in every sense of the word.

Jessica Sanchez and Phillip Phillips (Up Where We Belong): Apparently Jessica was the duet partner Phillip needed all along. No, he didn't look good by comparison, but she pulled actual singing - singing! - out of him and created some fine harmonies around his sometimes-tepid vocals. Not life-changing, and ENOUGH WITH THE BACKUP SINGERS - but a decent duet that made both finalists look good.

Phillip Phillips (Home): Seacrest deserves an Emmy Award for claiming Phillip wowed us all season and lending this farce some sense of meaning. Still, I loved seeing Phillip tear up during his final performance as a contestant, and he symbolizes Season 11 perfectly: flawed, sometimes amazing, often frustrating, but definitely worth a watch. More on that in my season recap soon.

American Idol "Top 2" Review: The Home Stretch

(Note: Yes, I'm aware how hilariously late this post is. See here for why.)

After three (five) months of waiting, I've seen the coronation of the newest American Idol.

The verdict: a resounding "meh."

As much as I thought Phillip Phillips' victory would be/was the end of the world, I can't scrape together that much enthusiasm after his competitors slumped the last couple weeks and he submitted some redeemable performances, including "Volcano" during top four week, last week's unbelievable "We've Got Tonight" and this week's... well, we'll get to that soon enough.

The performances:

Jessica Sanchez (I Have Nothing): Large portions of this melody were out of Jessica's (impressive) range, but her command of the rest made this a sufficient if forgettable Whitney cover. Remember, of course, that covering Whitney and not looking like a fool is incredibly difficult, so props to Jessica for making the concept of covering her seem reasonable. A solid start to what could be a one-sided evening. 65

Phillip Phillips (Stand By Me): Predictable flat guitar-wielding Phillip was back for this performance, although the genre switch and a hint of charisma made it more interesting than the average P-squared vocal. Not as bad as I expected, but the fact that Phillip's above-average performance here didn't rival Jessica's bland opening salvo doesn't bode well. 45

Jessica Sanchez (The Prayer): And that's how Jessica got her groove back. After a few lukewarm song choices and tepid arrangements in recent weeks, Ms. Sanchez reclaimed her throne as by far the most spectacular performer of Season 11 and made every adult within earshot shout at their tween to stop blogging about Phillip's goatee and watch somebody else for a change. A subtle arrangement, clear, powerful vocals and a sublimely executed key change made this the best finale performance since "Up to the Mountain." It's a shame that, like Crystal, Jessica will have to take my praise and heartfelt gratitude rather than the Idol sash. 90

Phillip Phillips (Movin' Out): Oh joy, Phillip is reprising a performance I thought was bland in the first place. I dug the background players - the singers can go to Hell, but that's not unusual - but I'm infinitely more interested in them than Phillip's continued brutalizing of melody and bland delivery. Not the worst Idol finale performance ever, but that's mainly thanks to "No Boundaries" and Kris Allen crossing paths in Season 8. Point: Jessica. 10

Jessica Sanchez (Change Nothing): Speaking of which, it's time for the original winner's songs©, an annual exercise in futility that recently had been abandoned for other material, with varying results (see: "I Love You This Big" versus "Like My Mother Does" last spring.) Jessica's has all the boxes checked: "change" in the title, a light piano interlude, hackneyed high-school-poetry writing and a vaguely incomprehensible chorus that says love can solve everything. Regardless, Jessica did a decent job by taking two incredibly difficult songs in the finale and looking decent on the other side. Bravo, Jessica. Now be free, perform the material you deserve and blow our minds. I'm counting on it. 50

Phillip Phillips (Home): Wow, Phillip is playing a guitar in his original winner's song©! Besides that utterly predictable twist, this was a surprisingly listenable performance. Aside from some awful writing, this could have been a lost page from the Neil Diamond songbook, and that's a direction Phillip could really excel in. Add some actual singing - singing! - and this was the closest to a follow-up to "We've Got Tonight" as I could have expected. Nice work, son. Taylor gets to keep his brown crown. 75

After slogging through my vegetables with the last two weeks of competitive performances, the finale now awaits, a strawberry rhubarb pie with extra Elise on top. I can hardly wait. Hopefully I'll be back soon with that treat and another confection: my look back at the year that was, complete with recipe for a delicious Season 12.

Until then.

American Idol "Top 3" Review: Are We There Yet?

Is it over?

Just kidding - I haven't actually tuned out for the past two months since May 10's Top 4 results show set the stage for a battle to determine whether Jessica Sanchez (please?), Phillip Phillips (God no) or Joshua Ledet (yeah right) would be crowned the 11th American Idol. (I have, however, gotten engaged, moved to a new apartment, started a side project at work, watched E3 trailers, played Mass Effect 3 and seen The Avengers twice. More on those later.)

No, what's kept me away this long has been sheer, bitter apathy after the two following weeks' results were spoiled to me on Twitter. None of it was majorly shocking - Twitter spoils things all the time, Joshua never had a chance of winning while black, and Phillip's tween legion was looking more unstoppable each week - but it sapped the life force out of my AI recapping and, as I said before, made me question whether I would ever watch the show again.

Well, here we are.

It's impossible to recapture the experience of watching the top 3, top 2 and finale shows immediately after they aired, so I come to this with the disclaimer that my opinions of these performances hold two months of bottled rage and angst as well as the usual season worth of momentum and years of comparisons.

With that said, however, let's hop in the wayback machine and examine the vocals that led to P-squared's coronation and find out if, as I predicted, he took the Taylor Hicks turd sandwich mantel of worst winner in AI history.

Joshua Ledet (I'd Rather Be Blind): The look, vocal slides and piano arrangement of this performance reminded me why, despite his frequent over-the-top ridiculata, Ledet's top three placement over the three previous eliminees didn't make me want to throw things at the wall. The screeching and scratchy scatting at the conclusion reminded me why I've never considered him a major threat to advance any further than that. Typical; or, to quote Serenity, "Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal," Mr. Ledet. 60

Jessica Sanchez (My All): Fog, a purple prom dress and a raised platform spelled Idol-class missionary ballad position, but Jessica channeled the energy she might have used tripping over enormous heels to nail another diva classic (Mariah's a diva, right?). She was out of breath and ahead of the music too often for it to be a classic, but a touching, evocative performance that makes me glad I came back to AI despite the soul-crushing results just around the bend. 70

Phillip Phillips (Beggin'): The cynial side of me wants to hate Phillip for coming back with more guitar-ed alt-rock, but his tone actually worked for me in the beginning of this performance. Like Joshua, he degenerated into his schtick - grumbled growling with only vague hints of melody - but considering his previous performances (or what I still remember of them), this isn't bad for Phillip. Sadly, I don't grade on a curve. 40

Joshua Ledet (Imagine): Archuleta alert! That Joshua chose this subdued, gorgeous classic shows the complete lack of awareness he has of how to use his instrument, and the performance only proved that. More earnest than his usual, but still whiny, grating and got in a screech in at the end. Oy vey. 40

Jessica Sanchez (I Don't Want to Miss a Thing): Perhaps my favorite ballad of all-time, this was a canny choice for the one female left in the competition who can do it outside Steven Tyler's (and to a lesser extent David Cook's) shadow. As much as I loved the orchestral arrangement, however, the rest of this performance felt too studio-perfect to evoke the emotion and desperation that make this song a classic. Not at all unpleasant - please, Jessica, keep singing the best songs ever with those pipes - but not the classic it could have been given her prodigious talent. 65

Phillip Phillips (Disease): Stunning that Phillip would choose an alternative, guitar-driven, smoldering selection to keep the Phillip-bots sated, but I have to give him credit for strategy if nothing - absolutely nothing - else. 25 

Joshua Ledet (No More Drama): The bouncing, shouting manner of this vocal clashed so spectacularly with the song's tone and message I half-expected Mary J. Blige to come out of the audience and storm onto the stage to show the continually clueless Joshua how to deliver a song with control and emotion. Unlike his predecessors, there would be no stunningly great exit performance for this week's victim. 15

Jessica Sanchez (I'll Be There): On the cusp of the last vote she'd have a chance to survive (not that I'm bitter), Jessica uncorked a clear, inspiring performance of a song that's neither an Idol missionary ballad or the kind of up-tempo radio tripe she's tried to strengthen all year. Nothing spectacular here, but a fun, powerhouse performance to remind us that Jessica's far and away the best pure vocalist of the season and the best Idol's seen in some time. 80 

Phillip Phillips (We've Got Tonight): The only thing more incredible than Ryan Seacrest claiming Phillip is competing for the finale rather than the crown is this performance itself. Out of nowhere, Phillip used his obvious vocal talents, sans guitar, bedroom eyes or alt-rock to deliver one of my favorite performances of the season. Sublime orchestral arrangement, beautifully understated staging and actual singing - singing! - made this performance an instant classic and an absolute, honest-to-God, where-the-hell-did-that-come-from stunner from my most-hated AI contestant in years. 90

A fun, polarizing show overall, with exciting implications for the finale. I'll skip the power poll - I've been making recap-text love to Jessica and spitting on Phillip's smoldering face for months - but I'm excited to see if the final AI 11 performance show was, as Simon Cowell said of Cook-Archuleta (and fit better with DeWyze-Bowersox), a knockout. 

Back soon with that, a recap of the final AI show of the year and an extremely late postmortem that asks how the show can recapture the magic of the season's first half next spring. Hint: Everything must go.